My Christmas list?

Per last year I’m gonna list out a few things that Santa might consider putting under my tree this year. So excuse me if I indulge myself for a little bit.


1. I want a Harley Davidson Road King Custom with flat black paint, sporting an H&L 127 cubic inch Gladiator billet motor, along with a Baker six-speed transmission. Slightly stretched with a 240-rear tire on billet wheels. I want the rear plate to say Death, and on the gas tank I want it to say “Bad Muthafucker” in script. I want it to have an air ride suspension and a cup holder.

2. I want a deed to the ranch, and it better have a veranda and an indoor swimming pool. (heated) I want that muthafucker sitting on top of the highest hill covering ten square acres, surrounded by a fence that’s certified “brother proof” with an electric gate with monster locks. I want it to have a garage with three automatic lifts and all the hot rod tools that a muthafucker needs.

3. I want a ninety-five inch plasma fuckin TV covering one whole wall of the living room so big that it make that porno pussy life-sized, with a surround-sound stereo loud enough to make the EPA break into a sweat. I want DVD, DVR, DVO CBS, NBC, NRA, NAACP, cable, and the Playboy Channel for free. I want a satellite dish, Satellite radio, satellite Internet and all the good shit.

4. Back in town I want a hideout lair with a secret entrance. I want it Batcave black with all the shit from above. I want a gimungus bed set up on jacks, with a big screen that pops out of its ass end like that shit you see on Cribs. I want a Murphy bed in every room and a kitchen so bad it’ll make Emrill drop a ball. I want a hot tub on the stinkin roof with room for twelve, with a button I push for bubbles.

5. I want a 1981 Chevy 4x4 Blazer also painted flat black with a 502 big block sporting fuel injection with a roller cam. I want it rolling on super wide Mickey Thompson’s and slammed clear to the floor. I want a five-speed tranny and bucket seats back. I want the windows blacked out with a sunroof and a gun rack. And on the side of that muthafucker I want it to say Heart Attack.

6. I wanna get my mother custom duels for her Cruiser and a mink coat to warm her bones. My sister gets a brand new ride of her very choice, or whatever would suit her.

7. Michelle and Mito get hooked up too. I’ll leave it up to them cause if I had my fancy, well, some things I’d just over do.

8. All my gal pals who just had kids would get a trust fund for collage and my promise to be there for the first date.

9. And oh yeah, Peace and love and joy to the world and no more wars and the hope that Bush never gets reelected and please feed all the starving and homeless and more jobs for the needy and did I mention Bush? And lets please not forget that it’s all about Baby Jesus and all that good Christmas shit. Peace