Cause even though there’s no excuse for stupid, knowing the reason why makes it easier to deal with

So Saturday night I’m sittin at the bar at Benders, and to my right is a local musician who goes by the name of Forest Whitlow. On my left side is Mito and Matty, and in front of us stands Rob, the owner of the bar who’s passing out these jello shots. They came in little plastic cups and at first I was confused on how to deal with em, but Rob handed out straws and told us to break em up then dispense with em. I myself thought they were intriguing as all get out, shots of liquor in the form of jello? Not only tasty but fun to do. Then Rob handed out the coup de grace, tequila jello shots. Next thing I knew, I found myself giving Forest Whitlow next to me, my soapbox version of modern music. Suddenly I heard the word “wellbutrin”, it was coming from Mito who was watching me talk so fast I must’a sounded like an auctioneer. I never slowed down one fuckin bit, we all moved to a table and I noticed that Matty and Mito strategically placed me between em. See, that’s the thing about liquor and wellbutrin, it’s like at times I’m on the outside lookin in, but unable to change the course of events. So even though part of my head was fully aware that Mito and Matty were blockin me in for my own safety’s sake, I felt unable to do anything about it. The same thing happened Sunday night at the Hurricane. I’m sitting at a table with Mito, Michelle and Rusty, and somewhere in the course of events I told myself I was gonna ask Mito for a kiss. Then I said to myself that would be a bad idea so don’t do it. But then I said to myself that I had this covered and to let me handle this. So Monday when I was sitting on my couch with Michelle tellin her about it and she told me what a dumbass idea that was, I had to agree with her.