Peer pressure

Day three on the Zyban and day two of not smoking, no ill effects yet. I just got off the phone with my aged mother, I asked her that if she gets out today to run by the bus stop in Westport and pick up my balls. It was that cold this morning. But she told me that after all this time surely some bum must’a picked em up by now. Goddammit!
It was so cold this morning that before I hopped in the shower I went outside to warm my car up. So I opened up the back door and stepped out into rear parking lot of my building where my car was parked. Every car except for a few had at least a quarter inch of ice on em and some people were up trying to knock the ice off. There were a couple of girls scraping off their cars that stopped in mid-scrape and were just staring at me with their mouths wide open. I hollered good morning, then cinched up the belt on my robe as I stepped to my car to start it up, wearin nothing but the robe and my furry house shoes. My new robe rocks, I’d wear that muthafucker anywhere if I could get away with it.

So I see that the bat picture is fascinating more and more people. Is it just me, or is that bats “Penis” almost a third of the size of the bat? That muthafucker’s like the John Holmes of the bat kingdom. So I’m thinking that if I were ever spelunking and shit and came upon a herd of bats, and one of the bats got all up in my face like it’s gonna kick my ass, all I gots to do is slap it on it’s giant nutsac, and it’ll go away, right? Cause I’m here to tell you what, if I had a huge nutsac like that bat I sure wouldn’t be going around pickin fights with anyone. And don’t get me started on the picture of the chimp. It’s not a wonder that monkey’s fling their shit all day. Hell, if I had a “Penis” shaped like a carrot or a root, I’d be pissed off too and throwing my shit around. And that brings to mind how lucky we are to be wearin clothes and shit. Cause the peer pressure in the fuckin jungle must be a muthafucker. I mean with all the animals walking around with their “Penises” out for all to see, life must be a bitch. You got the fuckin monkey’s all pissed off and flinging shit cause A. they gots these fucked up carrot shaped “Penises”, or B. Pissed off and flinging shit cause they have to be fucked with those fucked up carrot shaped “Penises”. Then once the sun goes down, all the monkeys are trying to sleep and forget how fucked up their “Penises” are, until out of the caves come flyin all theses bats and shit, with their giant “Penises” teasing the poor monkeys by shaking their giant “Penises” at em whilst callin em needle dicked muthafucker’s. I just sayin it could happen.