strange brew

SARS fears have stopped the Chinese from eating civet cats. But that hasn't turned off others from sipping the strangest of brews — one they insist is made from coffee beans eaten, partly digested and then crapped out by the weasel-like animals. The story goes like this: Civet cats live in the foliage of coffee plantations across Southeast Asia. These fussy foragers eat only the best and ripest coffee berries. Enzymes in their digestive system break down the flesh of the fruit before the animals shit the beans out. Workers collect the shitted out beans from the plantation floor, wash away the shit and roast them to produce a unique drink that devotees might say is good to the last dropping.

I found the above story on USA-Today, and I’ve changed some of the language in the original so there would be no doubt what the fuck is going on here. We’re talkin about animals eating coffee beans, then shitting out the partially digested beans. Workers pick up the beans that came out’a the animals asses, wash off all the crap they can, then roast the crapped out beans to make coffee. And then people drink this shit, (no pun intended). You know, there’s a lot of shit I’ll try, but I don’t think that’s one of em. That’s like having ole Bob eat a shit load of corn, then after takin a big crap into a bucket, wash off all the corn that came out’a his ass. Then after roasting, sell it as a rare delicacy. Nope, shit just don’t work for me.