small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>It must be just me</strong>

Wednesday, March 17

It must be just me

Even though Kansas City, Mo is noted for having the 3rd largest Saint Patrick’s Day parade in the country, I still think it sucks. Where’s all the fuckin marching bands? Where’s the stock car doing burnouts up and down the parade? Instead we gots a bunch of anonymous muthafucker’s dressed in green marching down the street. And then to show Kansas City that the stinkin Irish embrace diversity and have love for the races, here come the (insert Black here) marching groups. Which consist of a hoard of little black kids beating drums whilst flipping back and forth and twirling up and down the street like a bunch of dancing chickens. Every white person from the suburbs (cause they know there’s safety in numbers) claps and tells each other how well behaved and cute the little black kids are. I mean like goddamn, don’t take me all wrong and shit, but sometimes I think the only reason these kids get to do what they do is to make the Man feel better about himself. So that over cocktails he or she can mark out to themselves on how they personally made the call to Marching Black Kid Central or MBKC as it’s known at the golf club, to invite em to participate in whatever function the Man is putting on.

Believe it or not my favorite float came via way of one of the local rock stations. Muthafucker’s made me proud to be an American. They got this huge Army flatbed, put Army guy’s on it. Then they pumped out the rock at stage volume whilst a bunch of muthafucker’s rode alongside on Harley’s. Then to cap it off they stuck fuckin Playboy Bunnies (who happened to be in town for Playboy’s fiftieth anniversary) on the goddamn flatbed on fuckin trampolines jumping up and down like a bunch of crazed drunken rabbits. Now that’s a fuckin float for your ass! As a matter of fact, me and the hot chica co-worker were lookin down on everything from a 9th floor window and we both screamed at the same time. “My fuckin god, is that fuckin cleavage I’m seeing from the fuckin 9th floor”? THAT was an impressive rack. All that float lacked was free cheeseburgers and alcohol. I’m just saying is all.


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