small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>silly shit in the news</strong>

Friday, April 9

silly shit in the news

A 9-year-old girl accused of stealing a rabbit and $10 from a neighbor's home was arrested, handcuffed and questioned at a police station. A Pasco County sheriff's deputy found the black-and-white rabbit, named Oreo, hopping around in the girl's living room, according to the arrest report. She was read her rights and taken away in the back of a patrol car. The girl began to cry during questioning Tuesday. She admitted taking the rabbit belonging to another child, but denied taking two $5 bills and some change, according to reports.

Some of you more in depth readers might remember that my father was on the local police force most of his life and was an ass kicker of old school proportions. And as a result he had certain ideas on child rearing that would make most onlooker’s cringe. So when I was around nine or ten and got caught shoplifting from the local Skaggs drugstore he knew just what to do. I wasn’t there for the initial conversation, but it probably went something like this.

“Yeah this is Beck, yeah I got a son named Greg. The little cocksucker did what? That muthafucker, he’s about as worthless as the tits on a bullfrog. Hell no I’m not coming to get em. I tell you what, handcuff his stupid ass and haul em downtown and make em sit in the tank until I get there. When will that be? Oh, sometime tonight after dinner settles.”

So it goes without sayin that I bet that little girl won’t ever steal anything else.

And more on Tigger the molester.

The Orange County Sheriff's Office said that it has received 24 complaints about Tigger molesting females during photo sessions whilst on the job.
In one case last July, a mother said she was videotaping her 3-year-old daughter at the Magic Kingdom's Toon Town when Tigger approached from behind, put his hands around the woman's shoulders and held her for one to two minutes. "Although she felt uncomfortable, she didn't think that someone dressed as Tigger would act in an inappropriate manner," the report said. "Her daughter asked her what Tigger was doing and the victim jokingly said, 'I don't know; I guess Tigger likes Mommy.' "

And in a Passion of the Christ inspired moment.

A church trying to teach about the crucifixion of Jesus performed an Easter show with actors whipping the Easter bunny and breaking eggs, upsetting several parents and young children. People who attended Saturday’s performance at Glassport’s memorial stadium quoted performers as saying, “There is no Easter bunny,” and described the show as being a demonstration of how Jesus was crucified. The actors went on busting up the Easter Bunny and then nailed its screaming bloody body to a cross.

Goddamn! How fucked up is that! Poor fuckin kids. What a way to jumpstart the next generation of serial killers. I hear at Christmas the church is gonna depict a drunk Santa Clause being ass raped by a gang of sweaty convicts to prove he’s not real.

and the monkey flipped the switch


Post a Comment

<< Home