sweating the small stuff

Another Friday has rolled up so it’s time to sweat the small stuff. Did you read about the poor dumb stupid ignorant kinky bastard who set up a meeting with this chick he’d met in a rough sex chat room? Apparently our poster boy for the stupid had set it up with this chick who was into rape fantasies to have a personal one on one meet & greet. But with all things being as they are, and Murphy’s Law just waiting to fuck things up, Mr. El-Dumbass drove up to the house and climbed thru the bedroom window to have his sexual tryst with the chat room chick. Once in, Mr. Smooth proceeded to act out his rape fantasy part but was surprised when the chick started kicking his nuts clear to his asshole. “Goddammit Sue, stop kicking me in the balls!! I thought this was what we agreed to in the chat room”!! “Muthafucker my name ain’t Sue and I don’t even own a fuckin computer”!!! Ooops, looks like ole Johnny Appleseed climbed into the wrong window. It goes without saying that El-Guapo will be doing a little jail time over that little boo boo. And let this be a lesson for all you kids out there. When you meet a chick over the Internet who tells you that yes, I want you to rip all my clothes off and have rough unprotected sex with me. And you climb thru the window with pantyhose over your head and your cock in your hand? Please make goddamn sure you wrote down the right address.

And moving on
This Saturday with be the Boardroom’s annual A to Z party. What that entails is thirty to forty people climbing on a charted bus and between the hours of ten AM to whenever, hitting every bar on in the alphabet. The idea is to visit a bar starting with every letter of the alphabet and having one drink. That’s 26 bars, 26 drinks per person in an eight to ten hour period. The coolest thing about this is the diversity of the people going. You got Mr. Wilson the patriarch of the Boardroom who’s a distinguished gentleman in his fifties, as about as corporate as a muthafucker can get, to the young urban scenesters and a generous portion of the pen & ink crowd thrown in just to keep shit grounded. Folks were busting my ass to go but I declined due to the fact that I really doubt if I can be sociable for that long. But I will be at the Hurricane Saturday night when they all stumble off the buss. I wonder how does Mr. Wilson’s Chinese counterpart do it over in the forbidden city, being that the Chinese Hanyu-Dacidian Dictionary list over sixty thousand characters in the Chinese alphabet. I’m just sayin is all.
And the monkey flipped the switch