butterball means love

Neighbors of Christ Harvest Church in Hurricane, West Virginia have been putting up a bitch because of the church band. It seems that during practice, the band’s louder then a muthafucker, and the neighbor’s want em to tone it down a tad. Local folks are quick to say that they don’t want the band to stop, (cause it is fuckin church and all that) but like goddamn and shit, turn the muthafucker down. The Pastor said he’s trying to meet the neighbor’s halfway but those complaining are trying to dictate how the church worships God, and that there would be no argument if the music was more traditional. Traditional my fat ass, and fuck that shit that folks complaining are trying to tell em how to worship god. The bottom line is that the shit’s loud and muthafucker’s don’t want to hear it all the fuckin time. He needs his bible-thumping ass kicked.

And remember some time ago I mentioned bout how our boy Richard Simmons bitched slapped this ultimate fighter cat who tried to dis em at the airport and shit? Well it seems that the big pussie decided to drop all charges against Richard. No one is sayin why, but I imagine it’s most likely because the cage fighter cat is tired of his new ring introduction. “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! STANDING AN AWE INSPIRING 6-FOOT-2, WEIGHING IN AT 25O POUNDS! KILLER CHRIS FARNEY! Who cough cough just got fag punched and cough had his ass handed to em by cough cough Richard Simmons.

And Michelle sends in another one from the field.

A Chinese man has divorced and sued his wife for £55,000 after discovering she'd had plastic surgery before they met. Jian Feng, 38, was said to have been "horrified" when she gave birth to an ugly baby daughter. He suspected her of having an affair. His wife then confessed to having plastic surgery costing £70,000 in South Korea before they met and showed him a picture of how she used to look. He filed for divorce two years after marrying her following a whirlwind romance. The Heilongjiang Morning Post said Jian successfully sued for deceit. I gotta tell ya, if this shit happened here in the states, it would be some sad sad shit. But since it happened in Beijing and shit, it’s funny as a muthafucker.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"