small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>busier then a one legged man in an ass kickin contest</strong>

Sunday, June 13

busier then a one legged man in an ass kickin contest

It’s gotten to the point where the Man’s got me going so much that shit’s starting to run together. And it’s starting to affect my good nature……….dammit, don’t get me started lying like that. But if the truth be known, some days it don’t take much to affect my good nature. Like the other day I’m outside our building having a smoke minding my own business when I feel a thump on my right shoulder. I just happened to be enjoying my smoke under the ass of a bird with a death wish and a bad case of diarrhea. And the feathery cocksucker decided to take a crap all over my right shoulder. I tell you what; I marched right into the building and demanded that security follow me outside and shoot that muthafucker. I told em they were lucky that I didn’t pull the whole fuckin tree down and shit. I e-mailed Michelle and told her that I’d been shitted on, and she told me that’s what I get for smoking. What does she know anyway? Then Friday I was again outside having a smoke when I spied this small baby bird that had fallen out of it’s nest. I was kind’a at a loss for what to do cause it was all hot and shit and the poor little bird was laying on the walkway shivering like it was scared to death. But these two women came by and I showed em the little bird and that we needed to do something. So I suggested that one of em pick it up and at least put it on the grass. Can you believe that they wouldn’t do it? So I then suggested that the one drinkin a coke pour out her coke and give me the cup so that I could scoop it up and then place it on the grass. After hearing her bitch and moan for five minutes about throwing her full coke away and me calling her shallow, she relented to my infamous poopy face and poured the coke out and gave me the cup where then I scooped the little bird up and placed it on the grass. Women find it hard to resist the poopy face. I should patent that muthafucker. Now yesterday I had to leave the office and drive out to where we were setting up for the disaster starting here in Missouri to pick up some equipment. So I walk into this room where all these techs from the Mountain were hanging out at waiting on a conference call. The first think I hear is
“hey, they must call you Sunshine”?
Now so as to explain and shit, there’s a list of names I’ve been dealing with all my life that man or god ain’t allowed to call me. To do so will get the ball started right there.

1. Tiny
2. Bubba
3. Nigger
4. Sunshine

So when I heard that name addressed toward my person I stopped, stepped up to the person that said it and in a voice loud enough for the whole group to hear, I explained my thoughts on how not to ever call me that, especially today. Then I turned around and walked out of the building. I’m telling ya, I need a day off.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Sapphire Raven said...

Speaking of birds. Thier was this huge pigeon outside on my air conditioner this morning staring in pecking on the glass so I desided to open up the blinds real fast and scare the crap out of it. LoL It was funny as hell. I never seen a bird take a flying dive while trying to flap it's wings in the moment of terror. Poor thing forgot which way he was going. The good thing was at least it made it to the ground with out hurting itself.

Dam those cat like instincts in me. LoL birds birds birds LoL.

4:14 PM  

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