Freak

I gotta talk about this black cat that looks to be in his late twenties to early thirties that catches the same bus I do after work. He’s just tiresome and worrisome to watch cause he seems to have this issue with standing still. You all know these types of people, they’re the muthafucker’s that rush up to the curb every few minutes lookin down the street to see if the bus is coming. And when they don’t see it they run up to the schedule on the bus stop checking their fuckin watch lookin to see what time the damn thing is supposed to roll up. They’re also the same people that open the fucking fridge every ten minutes to see if it’s grown a fuckin sandwich. Now I understand checking for the bus and shit, but every couple of minutes? Just goddamn irksome I tell ya. Oh, and don’t let there be old women at the bus stop cause somebody seems to have a bit of a fetish for older women. And when I mean older, I mean blue hair orthopedic stocking wearing older. He makes a show of running up to the bus door and holding his hand out as if to say, “my lady, your carriage awaits”, and it’s not like Boy Scout polite either; it’s like freak polite. Then when he climbs his ass on the bus he looks around and if there’s a female senior citizen sitting by herself, he’ll park his short bus ass next to her and talk the poor dear’s ear off. And the bad thing about it all? He’s most likely a very nice harmless cat that misses his grandmother or some such shit, and gets a warm homey feeling from talking to older women and doesn’t need to be bad mouthed by such as myself. But to a jaded muthafucker such as myself, he screams freak loud and clear so fuck em.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"