small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>it's a fuckin cupcake dammit</strong>

Friday, June 4

it's a fuckin cupcake dammit

Birthday kids at Duxbury's Chandler School next fall will get dragon stickers, special seat covers and starred birthday sashes they can wear all day.
But no cupcakes - they're bad for you.
The tradition of cupcakes at school birthday parties died last month when the School Committee unanimously ratified a new handbook that redefines the way students celebrate in class. ``I'm a little saddened,'' said Chandler parent Nancy Krahmer, who favors healthy eating but mourns the loss of the childhood ritual. School officials made the change, part of a district-wide move to improve student health, after a poll of parents found nutrition to be one of their top concerns, Chandler School Council member Ann Kalous said. Frequent classmate parties once had students consuming numerous unplanned cupcakes each school year. "It would be 23 times during the year that other families would not be anticipating that their kids are going to be eating something sweet,'' Chandler Principal Deborah Zetterberg said. The new system will substitute copious special attention for frosted goodies, Zetterberg said. In addition to the sash, seat cover and dragon sticker, each birthday kid will get a birthday pencil.



Ok, first off, if back when I was a tiny little sprat "hold on, I'm dying here,

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

ok I'm back, sometimes I kill myself. Me little?

Back to the story. When I was a tiny little sprat in grade school, birthdays were some big shit. Hell, for some of the kids with fucked up parents and shit, having your birthday on a school day was the only time your young ass got recognize for anything. So when birthday's came around and the teacher or the "good" parent passed around cupcakes because it was your birthday, you were like rockin with your cock out so to speak. You got to wear the big silly cardboard hat and got first pick at all the good crayons. That shit was like tradition. But now according to the story above, cupcakes are supposed to be bad for the little fist fuckers.
Like being berated by your classmates and dealing with peer pressure isn't.
like walking to school past cocksucker's trying to talk you into either giving up the ass or taking a hit off their weed. Like that shit's not bad for you.
What's bad is being scared to go to school because your ass stinks like a muthafucker because your deadbeat mother couldn't get her drunk ass out from under her boyfriend long enough to help you get ready for school, and you're made fun of all goddamn day.
Bad is not having any lunch money and having to eat the government cheese in front of everybody for lunch so now muthafuckers know all about your business .
Bad is not wanting to dress out for gym because of all the bruises you got from your mom's boyfriend playing rock and sock em robots with you because you peed the bed last night cause you were so mind-fucked about going to school stinkin like a fuckin dog.
And now the only fuckin bright point in your bullshit week has been taken away because some fuckin group of overfed soccer moms decided that having a cupcake every couple of weeks is bad for you. And to ice the fuckin cake some fatass bitter 6th grader now wants to make you his bitch because of some gay-assed sash the schools making you wear instead of letting you have your fuckin cupcake.
It's a bitch being a kid sometimes isn't it?

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

and manymoods (aka the sister) who is a social worker and sees these same little fucks day in and day out, on and off meds cause of the lack of the parental thing and its made 'em crazier than shit and because they've been in and out of every foster home that we can find to take 'em and in and out of residential facilities cause they keep trying to kill the staff, says this: GIVE THE BASTARDS THE DAMN CUPCAKES!!! fuck, give 'em 3 or 4. its their shittinass birthday and all they know is "i'm turning another year in this pitiful ass life i have and this gray haired bitch wont let me have a fuckin cupcake???!!!" "where is my glock?" then little jimmy proceeds to hold it sideways like the good little ganster he is and repeats under his breath but loud enough for the principal who is cursing him out like the wrong ass "professional" she is, that if only his teacher hadda let him have the chocolate cupcake with the blue and green sprinkles on it, he'd have been ok. then he shoots her. all because of the lack of a fuckin' cupcake.

4:18 PM  
Blogger Death said...

damn, get some fresh air will ya.

4:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you asked.

4:31 PM  
Blogger Brent said...

Now schools everywhere are sending letters home to the parents telling them if their kids are fat. What a fucked up world!! I'm going to go eat a cupcake!

8:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

eat two!!

signed: manymoods

2:03 AM  
Blogger Rusty said...

It's not like most little kids are balls of hyper energy anyways, and have the metabolism to burn of a dozen freakin cupcakes........Let the kids have the damn cupcakes...I don't see many little kids counting carbs or getting on a Atkins or South Beach diet anyways.....

1:03 AM  
Blogger Bryan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Bryan said...

These are the same muther fuckers who make you sing Jewish songs at Christmas, changed the Halloween Party to a Harvest Celebration and outlawed home baked goodies because anyone of you mothers could be seriously fucked in the head and poison your child and all his classmates....

Something tells me these people didn't get enought hugs from mommy and daddy when they were growing up.........

11:30 AM  
Blogger Matty said...

I never got any cupcakes in school, and look how I turned out. As an object lesson in How Not To Raise A Well-adjusted Kid, I am more and more of the opinion that the cupcakes should be fucking MANDATORY. But that's just me.

12:06 PM  
Blogger -=JJ=- said...

I haven't laughed this hard for weeks~!! I WILL GIVE YOU A CUPCAKE!!

5:44 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home