Shane, Shane, come back, ma needs you

“Some time when the team is up against it and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper.”

The best quote from a movie uttered by a dead president, or at least until Arnold gets the laws changed and gains the presidency then dies from drowning after going insane from the dreaded syphilis which made him go all Jack Lalanne and shit at the age of ninety-three and try to breast stroke the stinkin assed English Channel pulling a small boat chained to his ballsac.

Hey, it could happen.

It goes without sayin that a lot of people of color had their problems with Ronald Regan, and he wasn’t exactly considered the poor man’s friend. But it’s not for us to judge him; I’m sure there’ll be enough time for history to do that. Let the man be buried in peace and let his family and the people that give a shit mourn. Than we can all go back to our customary habit of shagging politician’s that piss us off.

Teachers and parents in Cape Elizabeth (wherever the fuck that’s at) are warning middle school students about the dangers of deliberately making themselves pass out, a developing trend among youngsters in the community. The strange behavior became an issue last week at Cape Elizabeth Middle School when teachers learned that students were going through a regimen in which they blocked the flow of oxygen to their brains, which caused them to lose consciousness. Students told staff members that it gave them a "rush" or a "good feeling."

If memory serves me correctly I talked about this last year, where kids were making themselves huff and puff so as to pass out. Dumb little finger toads; go sniff fire if you want to get a rush and pass out and shit. Or better yet if you want a rush, just start ballbatting each other. At least that’ll make more sense than watching some little pimple faced Goth sprag turning all red and passing out in study hall.

And in the what the fuck dept.

Dateline Africa: Humanity’s closest relative, the chimpanzee, could be extinct in around 50 years because it is hunted for meat and threatened by deforestation and disease, researchers said on Tuesday.

Sad shit indeed huh? But in all reality lets focus on the part that fucks me up.

“Is hunted for meat”

I just want to know what misguided muthafucker’s are treating Cheetah’s shit flinging ass like some kind of fricasseed happy meal? C’mon and shit, pull the bone out’a your nose, pick up a book and realize it’s a fuckin monkey goddammit. You don’t put that shit in your mouth.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"