Giant Jesus

So last night after taking four Tylenol PM in an effort to sleep cause I’ve more or less been awake all week and unable to sleep. And I know, I know, you sent me stuff to help me sleep but…….anyway, I sat down at my computer and for some reason starting punching up some old gospel I had downloaded. And whilst sitting there in my sleep deprived state I started thinking about when I used to go church as a youth. You know my mother and I have a running joke about church? She goes every Sunday and if I call her or see her afterwards she’ll mention that she didn’t see me there. And I always answer that I was sitting way in the back but I was there. I guess you have to be there but as most of you know I have a different viewpoint on religion, but I do understand the concept and admire those that it helps. But like my grandfather who was a Baptist Minister all his life once told me.

“You don’t have to go to church to be at church”

There were and are still things about black church life that I still dig. Like the music for example, there’s something about a black choir singing the word that still sends chills down the back of my neck. And to hear and watch a preacher with his flow-on rapping God’s message over the choir is something to see. He’s up at the pulpit telling his message in the odd singsong unique to black preachers whilst the congregation’s doing this call and response thing. All the while in the background the choir’s keeping the bottom end grounded by doing their thing. After a while one of the old church ladies who always ran the first few rows would get all full of the Holy Ghost and either stand up and do her dance or faint. But the preacher kept on preaching and the choir kept on singing whilst the other ladies grabbed fans and programs and started fanning whoever fell out. My mother used to tell me that they were full of God’s spirit and overcome with happiness. I can understand that, I’ve been overcome with the spirit once or twice while playing drums behind a blues band. I swelled up and felt so happy that I thought for sure that everyone could see my glow from where they sat and I had to stop playing until I calmed myself. You know for some reason there’s always this sermon that I heard as a kid that always stays with me. The preacher was talking about how he was walking in the woods one day as a young man and suddenly he came to this bright clearing where in front of him stood a giant Jesus. There was giant Jesus in all his glory towering into the sky, and giant Jesus started talking to the young preacher in his giant Jesus voice and telling him how he should live his life. And I remember as a kid how cool that sounded and that I wanted to hear and see giant Jesus. I don’t know why but that part of the sermon always stayed with me. But I became disillusioned with church when I was told to I had to believe everything I read in the Bible. I was told never to question the Bible’s word because that was a sin. And coming from a home where I was taught to question everything, I found this a very harsh pill to take. So as soon as I was able I moved away from the church and left it behind. But my grandfather always told me that even though I didn’t go to church he always saw God’s good in me, which coming from him made me feel better about my decision. I’d like to think that no matter what, there’s a little giant Jesus in all of us.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"