small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: growing up

Wednesday, July 21

growing up


Any of you remember back to when we were all young kids and just discovering our bodies for the first time and shit? And you experienced masturbation for the very first time and after that you had to find all the ways to do it? Some of us were like masturbatory monkeys we hit it so hard. I can remember back in the day if I stayed in the bathroom too long my father would holler at me to unass the fuckin bathroom and stop playing with myself. When I was a kid the hot thing to masturbate too were my father’s old Playboy’s or Benny Hill on the TV. But you had to be cool so that your mother wouldn’t catch you. But even though you thought they didn’t know they knew that you were a jackin off little fool. Mother’s were always complaining; “but honey, can’t we make him stop, maybe more church would help”? But the old man would always tell her to shut up, that boys will be boys. Except when it was your little sis shoving things up her cootch then the tables would be turned. You’d be hanging out on the porch with your boys when Johnjohn’s little baby sister would come out on the porch buck nekked with a hotdog hanging out of her cootch sayin; “look I got a pee pee too”! And inside the house you could hear her mother screaming “ oh my God! Get that child back in the house”! While on the porch we were rollin and laughing till we pissed ourselves. Silly shit like that was always going on, like the time I got hit in the nuts for the very first time. All I knew after that was that someone else had to experience the same pain I did. So I called my best friend over and walked up and slapshotted em in the balls. After that, seeing someone get hit in the sac was the funniest thing ever, until it happened to you again. But there was always an older kid on the block who’d had his cherry busted at an early age. And he would always hold court testifying on how much pussy he’d just gotten since yesterday. If we were to believe half what he said, girls would just fold up and throw the pussy at em like rice at a wedding. Then there was the local slut who lived on the block. She was usually good for getting a tittie shot when she got bored. Was there such a thing as a hot looking slut back in those days, or were they all mule ass ugly like our’s was?
"and the monkey flipped the switch"

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