Independence Day

“I can’t tell a lie, I need money for beer”.
This was the sign this bum was holding up whilst standing at a street corner in Midtown. Since I was at the light and the cat was staring at me I felt obliged to say something. I rolled down the window and told the cat I wish I had a beer to give em, he said that’s ok; he was lying and rather have the money instead.

I hope everybody woke up today with all ten fingers and toes and shit. I didn’t do shit Sunday except clean off my front porch and take a nappy nap. I did watch “Bad Santa”, which I highly recommend if for nothing else the boxing scene. That was some funny funny shit. Michelle show up for a late lunch and she had “Barbershop II with her. It was ok but kind of preachy and all that. Damn, give a rapper enough money and all of a sudden he wants to spend it on a “message” movie. Not as good as the first one if you know what I mean. I got a call from a very pissed off Michelle late last night. It seems that she was with friends down by the river to watch the much ballyhooed ending to Kansas City's Lewis and Clark festivities. It was supposed to be a giant fireworks show on the Missouri River to end all giant fireworks shows, but because of some sort of glitch it turned into shit. Michelle had just stepped into a Johnny-on-the-spot and she say’s as soon as she stepped out she noticed two things. Down the way some whisky-tango couple were stepping out of a potty a few doors down adjusting their clothing, She was doing the math and expressing her disgust when she noticed that the giant fireworks display was all done and over with. “What the fuck”? It seems that when the big red button was pushed, shit kind’a fizzled out and squat happened. How fucking embarrassing huh? Wouldn’t you hate to be the muthafucker pushing the button over and over while trying to play off the stares of thousands of pissed off people? And for gods sake, what about the kids? “Mommy, you and daddy promised me fireworks? Where are the fireworks? This river smells like shit, I need to take a shit, the bathrooms smell like shit. Mommy, why were those people nekked in the bathroom? I hate you, where are the fireworks”? Like I said, embarrassing.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"