ok, I'm spent

I notice that PETA {People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals} has taken a personal interest in the case of a suburban Chicago man charged with one count of unlawfully fucking a dog. Oops, I’m sorry, that would be two counts of unlawfully fucking a dog, plus one count of property damage. It seems the randy muthafucker tore down the fence to get to the dog, which meant that he had to fuck it twice as hard. PETA is urging the county prosecutors office to as they put it, “vigorously prosecute” the man. PETA swears they’re not trying to influence shit, but just want to let people know that PETA’s taken a keen interest in the case. And that they’re glad that the county that the alleged double dog fucking happened in has it’s own “Animal Crime Task Force” set up to prosecute abuse and cruelty cases dealing with animals. Even though there is some small concern dealing with the fact of how fucked up is shit that you need your own specific Animal Crime Task Force specially created for crimes of that nature. Cause like how many dog fuckin, cat prodding, horse raping, ole Bossy fisting muthafucker’s can they be in one county. Damn! That’s just some fucked up shit when you think of it. It’s like over in Sweden and shit. The abuse of animals over there is so rampant and shit that I think it’s something like 8 out’a every 20 cats and dogs suffer from sexual abuse. Do you know what that means? That means if you’re in Sweden just walking along minding your own business and shit and see 20 dogs and cats chasing each other, almost half of the furry little shitter’s have been man-fucked in the ass. Ow, sorry, I meant wow. It seems to me that after PETA opens a branch in suburban Chicago, they need to haul their overzealous asses over to Sweden and take care of business.   

"and the monkey flipped the switch"