sweatin the small stuff

Bevis & Butthead quote of the day.

“I think that a lot of people are judging us without knowing us at all”

This is from one of the assholes that threw a bunny rabbit in the lake after strapping explosives to it.

Yeah, it seems that these two Bomar Brain muthafucker’s decided the other day to take Lucky the bunny rabbit and strap an illegal M-1000 which has the explosive power of half a stick of dynamite to it and throw it into the lake so as to watch it blow up and shit. But when the shit didn’t blow up they fished the bunny out and went on home. But as all dumbasses do once they got home they had to brag about what they had tried. And one of their friends told someone else, who told someone else, who went to the cops and dropped a dime on em. When asked later why they tried to kill the bunny, one of the assholes said,

"Um, that's a real tough question to answer."

And in a “wouldn’t you hate to be the cat bringing this man’s daughter home late from a date” moment.

In Florida this forty-three year old man was down by the lake pulling weeds when an eleven foot, three hundred eighty-five pound alligator jumped his ass. But even though the alligator had em by the leg the crusty bastard started punching the muthafucker in the face. And kept punching until it let go. Now that’s some tough guy shit for ya right there. If that fucker told me to have his little girl home by nine, nether pussy nor booze whole make me late. Couldn’t you see this cat in his local bar when some would be punk decides to start fuckin with him?

“Muthafucker, I got bit by a 400 fuckin gator and still beat it’s ass, so what in the fuck you think you're gonna do to me but piss me off! Now git, grown folk are talking”!

I was watching the news the other day when this story came on about this pet shop employee who had to be rushed to the ER due to being bitten by a snake. Ok, pet store cat gets bitten by a snake, no real big deal right? Except that the dumb muthafucker got himself bitten by something called a Black Mamba. Now being that the black mamba is the longest venomous snake in the world, a snake who’s shit can kill a grown man in less then thirty minutes. Why keep such a thing in a pet store? Furthermore, what kind of a crazed muthafucker would want one as a pet? Cause I’m just sayin and shit, I don’t even think I wanna have something in my house calling it’s self a black mamba. Do you feel me on this? Now not to be playing the race card and shit, what is it with white folk that makes em so attracted to shit that may not only kill em but eat em up too? I can’t remember the last time I saw a black cat on the Discovery Channel fuckin with sharks and shit. And you know why? Because black folk have an ingrained inheritance going back thousands and thousands of years, where we know what not to fuck with. You don’t see many black folk fuckin with snakes and lions and tarantulas and sharks and especially bears. If that muthafucker bites or has a nine in ten chance of munching our asses we stay the fuck away from it.

"and the monkey flipped the switch

"