animal games

I watched the craziest shit on TV last night; it was Animal Planet’s, Animal Games. I would’a loved to have been at this meeting, because to come up with this idea cat’s had to be either high or drunk off their asses.

“Hey man, lets do a show where we pit animals against each other". "Damn, like eating each other and shit?" "Naw man, like competing against each other in physical competition. And dig this; we make all the animals the same fuckin size". "Like all giant and shit"? "Damn dude, will you stop sucking on that twinky and try to focus? We make em all human size, like six feet tall, even the insects. And we get real sport announcers and hold the whole thing at this huge stadium inside a dead volcano". "Muthafucker, you gots to be high". "Yeah, so"?”

It was the coolest show. They scaled all the animals the same size and made their strength equal to their sizes. So like when it came time for the high jump, they set the bar for the six-foot flea at six hundred feet and the muthafucker still ended up jumping out of the fuckin stadium. But during the weightlifting portion the elephant sucked ass because he got shrunk down to six feet and couldn’t do shit. And the target shooting part was just fucked up. There was just some wrong shit going on that I didn’t need to know. I really enjoyed the show; I bet I sat on the couch for the entire hour with my mouth hanging open in amazement. "and the monkey flipped the switch"