small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>voting is sexy</strong>

Wednesday, August 4

voting is sexy

So after work I went by this church near my place to vote on some local and statewide issues going on. I’m standing in line waiting for someone to unass a booth when I spotted this woman with a great set of angry titties coming my way. Oh, angry titties is old school lingo for a set of breasts so nice that you unconsciously scrunch up your face in awe when you come up on em. It looks like you’re angry but in reality it’s all about
“damn, wow, breath, breath, don’t make the face”.
Anyway, she stopped in front of me and the only thing I could think of to say was “hi, I’m voting”. She went “hi, you’re blocking the exit”. Hmmm, so I was, but it was nice talking to her. I went on and voted and was surprised at how sexy and manly I felt afterwards. “Yeah baby, nothing going on here, just me exercising my constitutional rights. That’s right, I’m a bad voting muthafucker. What’s that? You didn’t vote? Then you ain’t gots shit to say about shit, now do ya, you cockless bastard. Who gots the big dick? I gots the big dick. Who gots the big dick? I gots the big dick”. Voting’s sexy, yeah. After voting I decided to call in to a local restaurant for some carryout. Hell I might as well continue on this roll and avoid my own cooking right? The restaurant serves up a great chicken fried steak so when I called in, that’s what I asked for. The chick on the phone comes back with this answer. “Would that be chicken fried steak, or chicken fried chicken”? The fuck………..? Now I was all confused and shit, what the fuck was a chicken fried chicken? She told me that one was like flattened fried chicken, whilst the other was fried chopped up beef. Hmmm, I better play it safe and go with the beef since I knew that chicken fried steak was steak. See, voting also makes you sexy too.
"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Michelle said...

Greg, where did you order the chicken fried steak from? And what's up with you not calling me and inviting me over to eat with you?

4:44 PM  
Blogger Brent said...

Yeah, all you folks in Missouri created quite a stir with your voting!

7:18 PM  
Blogger Mark H said...

I can't fucking believe that Amendment 2 passed. Now we're as bad as Kansas with their law that "Creation Science" must be taught in public schools along with the "Myth of Evolution."

7:28 PM  
Blogger Death said...

Michelle, I ordered from that place in westport where we do lunch every so often. and I forget why I didn't call you. get over it. and yes, it sucks to be gay in Missouri. Instead of the "show me state" it should be the "fuck you, we're never joining the 21st century cause we're stupid" state.

8:53 PM  
Blogger Sapphire Raven said...

Man: Morning.

Waitress: Morning.

M: Well, what you got?

W: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam, tomato and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; (vikings start singing in background) spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam or lobster thermador ecrovets with a bournaise sause, served in the purple salm manor with chalots and overshies, garnashed with truffle pate, brandy, a fried egg on top and spam.

It's not the size of the brain that makes the man a man wisdom say's. It's the size of his dick. Yea! but my balls are bigger. Ha!

10:41 PM  
Blogger TheBlackNewYorker said...

Well, I heard, I haven't tried it yet, but I heard that your Fried Chicken recipe on the sidebar is tastier that Chicken Fried Steak. That is the worst meal I think I've ever eaten. Chopped-up Beef dipped in thick-azzed chicken flavored batter, fried in greasy oil. UGH!!!
It's good that you rocked the vote though, that is sexy.

6:49 AM  

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