the weekend

Yours truly had a very good weekend. Friday night I hung out at the Hurricane and one of the owner’s came in with his wife and as I was leaving they decided to comp my bar tab which was very sweet. Plus I took Friday off from work due to the fact that I had run out of clean underwear and I didn’t think it was appropriate to go to work all commando and shit. There’s that getting hit by a car thing that you have to always have to keep in the back of your head. Which is worse, getting hit by a car with dirty underwear or no underwear? So that morning I got to do my thing where I wake up at my usual o’dark thirty hour and go thru the motions of getting ready for work. But instead of heading out the door I tap dance my nekked happy ass back to bed. It’s all about the small things baby. I showed up at the laundromat somewhere around eight and after throwing my shit in, I went outside to sit on the park bench and watch folks for a while. Shit, seventy degrees and sunny, and wearing loose shoes and people watching? I was in high cotton. It’s times like that when I feel so peppy that I wanna do something really feel-good like jogging. But of course I come to my senses and sit back down and have a smoke. Saturday I baked some cookies and hung out in front of the TV watching some movies I rented. Saw Hellboy for the first time. So riddle me this, why didn’t they just get the chick with the firepowers to kill all the monsters in the first place? And for somebody that was supposed to be all fuckin top-secret and shit, ole Hellboy was sure out in the public getting his ass kicked a lot. But all in all I dug it. Saturday night I headed back to the Hurricane because some cats I knew from the old LoneStar were in town playing that night. So I ended up seeing some old faces and meeting some new ones. I did see this one muthafucker I wanted to slap down. He’s like this Ali-G muthafucker and he’s one of these cats that work the numbers. If there’s ten women sitting by themselves he’ll walk his ass over and try to get his swerve on. When one tells him to fuck off, he’ll just go down the line to the next one, and so on and so on. Every time I see this muthafucker he’s doing the same thing. I admire his persistence but the shallowness of it all makes me wanna have a come to Jesus talk with em. Not that his attempt to spew his seed is any of my business, but because I find him irritating and I enjoy removing all things irritating from my sight. Plus later that night as I’m walking thru the bar he stops me by throwing his arm across my chest. Here’s how’s that conversation went.

Ali-G, “you’re a really big guy, how much do you weigh? I know big guys and you look as strong as you’re big. You’re very strong aren’t you? Hey, why do you look so sad? Do you want to talk about it? How come you’re not smiling? I’d be happy to sit down and hear what’s making you so sad. I’m a very good listener. Let’s go sit down and talk”.

Me, “……………………..”

Ali-G, “ok, ok, I’ll talk to you later”

"and the monkey flipped the switch"