small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>Slingblade said the birds told em to do it</strong>

Wednesday, September 15

Slingblade said the birds told em to do it

I’ve been running pretty much null & void for the past few days so one again I don’t have much to say. But I do have what may be an interesting problem developing. There’s this basement apartment in my building and at the beginning of the summer this cat moved into it. I’d seen the guy shuffling around the neighborhood for a few years but never had any reason to interact with em. A few days after he moved in I happened to run into the cat whilst getting into my truck. He said hi and told me his name but he did it in such a manner that it made me pause and think. “This cat’s a full on slingblade muthafucker”, then I said hi, and went on about my business without giving it much more thought. I saw later that he made himself a little nook next to the parking lot where he could sit and feed birds and shit. “How nice, slingblade likes little birds”. But then one day he was outside when I went to get in my car and slingblade told me that my car was blocking his path between buildings and could I move it. Now the thing about this cat is that when he talks he does it in this real loud mush mouthy voice. But since he’s a slingblade retard muthafucker I don’t pay it much mind. So since I was getting leaving in the car anyway, problem solved. Even though no matter how much I tried to see what I was blocking, I couldn’t. But yesterday when I got home after work he was sitting in his little nook and as I pulled up I heard him holler hi in that loud mush-mouth voice of his. Since I had the window rolled up and the radio going I just looked over and nodded. So I open the door to get out and I notice that slingblade's giving me the finger. I shut my car door and after locking it I ask what’s up with giving me the finger. He tries to tell me that it wasn’t me that he was giving the finger too, but some birds flying by. Now this isn’t the first time he’s been somewhat confrontational. Last week I was getting out of my car and he walked up on me and after getting a wee bit too close started going off about voices in his head and the devil and shit, whilst at the same time sticking his hand inside his overalls and grabbing his cock and shaking it. But once again I just turned my back and went on about my own shit ignoring him like I’ve been doing. I figure he used to live in this building in my neighborhood run by the state for the developmentally challenged, and either passed some monkey’s test or proved to em that he could live on his own. The confrontational shit he’s pulling ain’t no big deal but I just hate the idea of maybe having to go off on some stupid inner-voice hearing retard slingblade muthafucker with no manners. And yeah, I know you’re supposed to call em “special” people or mentally challenged, but as far as I’m concerned this cat’s a plain old school bib wearing retard. I guess the question is, should I be the bigger man and just go on ignoring this bastard, or should I nip slingblade's shit in the bud so to speak before he gets out of hand? Think of it as your chance to save a small furry animal, even though he’s a retard muthafucker.
"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger satyavati said...

If I was you, I'd be totally creeped out. There's no easy answer, but today, flipping off birds, tomorrow, peppering the neighbourhood with his brand new legal AK47?

Just be careful, you know?

On the other hand, maybe he just has a really twisted sense of humour and was "giving a bird, the bird". Who can tell?

3:30 PM  
Blogger The Doorman said...

Hey Greg, how many readers actually get the "Spanish announcers table" reference?

And why did the Spanish announcers table always end up getting smashed? I always thought that was racist. But funny.

4:17 PM  
Blogger Death said...

I’ve had to explain to more then a few people about the Spanish announcer’s table and what it means. Anyone that watches wrestling gets it right off the bat and they dig the viewpoint thing. And as far as the table getting smashed, it’s the oldest worked gimmick on TV. Plus it actually gives the Spanish announcers who all are ex wrestlers, a chance to hop into the limelight for a few minutes even if it’s nothing more then scrambling for safety. I’ve wanting to use that name for years, but my old page was just Death’s Door. It wasn’t until I got the blog that I able to use the full name. By the way, I didn’t realize you had a second site. Very cool.

5:31 PM  
Blogger Sapphire Raven said...

Shit! So that's where my sience project went. I should have known to shut the last night. Dam! Don't worry I get some sleepy dart's and get him back in the cage by tommorow. There goes my nobel prize.

Just give him a saidagive sometimes you have to be the tougher guy. I tell you one thing the people that slap thier face for no reason are the creepy one's.

"hides under the couch" Scary...

11:46 PM  

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