small twitches

Fuckin Deadwood should be starting back up again soon. I for one can’t fuckin wait to get my twice-weekly dose of evil saloon owners and badass marshals and more whores then you can shake your cock at. Plus just to hear how many ways the word cocksucker can be used in a sentence is worth it’s fuckin weight in gold. And speaking of TV and shit, there’s a couple of commercials out that freak me the fuck out. Have you seen the one with Lenny Kravitch and that Sara Jessica Parker? I find Lenny’s retro ass hard to look at anyway but I’ve never seen what make Sara Jessica Parker so hot. It might be me and god knows my fuckin standards when it comes to women and what make em hot ain’t the fuck like everybody elses. But watching Lenny play air guitar and her jumping all around trying to look all come hither and shit just doesn’t make me pook out. Like this bitch shops at the fuckin Gap anyway. What ever happened to truth in advertising and all that honest shit? Believe that crap and next thing you know you’ll start believing Lenny Kravitch is stright.

What?

Oh come the fuck on. If ole Lenny isn’t doing the lookin over the shoulder thing on all fours, he’s at least catching for both teams. I’m just sayin. And what the fuck is Burger King sniffing? They got this shit where this cat wakes up in bed with this guy wearing a costume and a giant Mardi Gra head who offers the cat a breakfast sandwich. Man, is that like some bad prison rape dream or what?

“You gonna be my bitch and let me poke you? You gets this sandwich if you do.”

Oh my god! If I was to wake up and find some cat with a giant Mardi Gra head in bed with me I’d warp gravity and fuckin time travel and shit trying to get out of bed so fast. Fuck the sandwich.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"