small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>I passed!!</strong>

Tuesday, October 12

I passed!!

Both days it rained. And it was cold. And the wind was blowing. And did I mention that it fuckin rained for both days almost non stop? But I passed my motorcycle safety course with flying colors. We, meaning the entire class, were all soaked to the bone and looking like hammered shit, but nobody dropped out and the entire class stuck together as a team. Understandably a wet, soaked to the balls, shaking from the wet & cold team. Is there a worse feeling in the world then walking around in dripping wet cold jeans? We even had the dubious distinction of being the first class where everyone in the class dropped their bikes at least once. Yours truly took a spectacular spill whilst doing some braking maneuvers and ended up doing his famous impression of a tilt-a-whirl. I hit the pavement hard as a muthafucker and smacked the back of my head as I went down. I at first tried to get up but my inner child started screaming at me to lay the fuck still. So I decided to spend that unused time doing a head to toe body check. Aside from a sore back and some road-rash on my arm and knee and some ripped raingear, I came through it very well. Plus the big saving factor was my helmet. If I ever had any doubts before about riding without a helmet, (which I didn’t) the harsh blow to the back of my head erased all that. If I hit the ground that hard just from a quick stop at slow speeds, imagine what shit would be like coming off that muthafucker at upteen plus miles an hour? As a matter of fact I just might go out and buy a bigger helmet just to be double sure. Everybody came running over cause the way they told me was after I hit, I sat up and then laid flat out on my back spread-eagle in the rain. They didn’t know if I had passed out or not. The only one that knew what I was doing was the instructor. He bent over me and asked how I felt and after I told him that I was checking on that he told everybody to just give me some room. During both days there were times that I couldn’t feel my hands on the grips due to them being wet and chilled. And yes, we all had on gloves and some sort of raingear but the more we rode the wetter we got. But there we were, leaning into curves, counter-steering, and doing sharp u-turns and everything else the 17 or so exercises involved. The big difference was the big rooster tails of water each bike was throwing up. It goes without saying that if I could do all this in the pouring rain, I think I can at least operate on dry pavement with out too many mishaps. But you know what the coolest thing is? Before this week I still had trouble imagining myself actually riding on the street. And if you had told me that after a few hours on Monday I’d be turning the bike at speed and braking and leaning a bike over trying to see if I could scrape the pegs. And in the pouring rain at that? I’d have mocked you for the pithy fool you’d be. But now after the class and with a bit of practice on my own bike, I can see it happening clear as day. This motorcycle rider safety course is by far the best money I’ve ever spent. Sex not withstanding.
"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger your brother said...

congratulations.Way to go.

9:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the sister says:
yea, me too! i know daddys proud cause the box under my desk moved.

11:09 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Congratulations! Besides the insurance factor, it's really good to get out there in a controlled environment and get some confidence. Plus I am glad to hear your feelings on the whole helmet thing.. I was worried for a while...

7:03 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

dripping wet cold jeans...ugh. After reading and giving applause of congratulations, I was reminded of the days when we used to stuff ourselves into brand new Levi's, then lay in bath tubs filled with hot first, not unpleasant, but in order to get that painted on look you had to let them dry while wearing them...dripping wet cold jeans--some of the best chafes of my life came from them!

7:09 AM  
Blogger Sapphire Raven said...

It's the only way that you can travel down that road.
Satisfied, on heavy metal, hehehe and the ladies are going to go wild, Greg's got something better to cure that problem. I need to find me a hot sexy single biker babe. And the power they felt was good and thus he created the motorcycle...Ride on...Evermore

7:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now you know what its like to lay the bike down you know not to do it again. I've always heard that if you ride; you will lay the bike down so you got that part over with dont do it again. Ambalance rides arent fun.
PS the only thing worse than the feeling of wet jeans is frozen jeans.
Now get out there and start a ruckus!!!

7:54 PM  
Blogger Bryan said...

Congrats, now just stay upright for the next 20 odd years!!!

Good Luck

8:08 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home