small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>acting like a pig isn't sexy </strong>

Tuesday, November 16

acting like a pig isn't sexy

I don’t litter, and as far as I’m concerned there’s no excuse for littering. I’ll throw shit on my floorboard or jam it into my pocket until I get to a fuckin trashcan. I think people who litter are self-concerned shallow pigs who wipe the shit out’a their asses with twigs. I think people whose kid’s litter should either beat em so bad that they’ll never do it again or let someone who doesn’t litter beat em. What the world needs is my high school math teacher Mr. Handy or my grade school English teacher Mr. Lewis. My math teacher had this fuckin Popeye looking double-jointed arm that was huger then a muthafucker. And he’d walk around with this big paddle that had big holes drilled in it and shit, so that when he hit you with it, the holes would suck all this extra ass-meat thru it and hurt like a cocksuckin bitch. He’d see you doing shit and sneak up on your young ass and suddenly you’re grabbing the fuckin floor and he’s swinging the paddle with that overgrown Popeye arm and lighting your ass up. And I can guaran-fuckin-tee that what ever you did that made him hit you never found open space in your stupid mind to nest after that. And Mr. Lewis’s thing was that he more or less shamed your ass out’a doing shit. If he caught you spitting on the playground he’d produce a clean white handkerchief and make you wipe it up. If you left gum on the seat he’d find you and make you clean all the desks in the class. If you threw trash on school property he’d make you walk the block picking up trash. So after a while it just became second nature not to do that shit. And if you got caught doing it again the look of disgust and shame he laid on you was enough to make you pussie up and beg for forgiveness. Think of it, instead of cops roaming the street we could recruit old teachers from back in the day. Some punk sits at the bus stop eating a burger when he decides to throw the sack to the curb with a trashcan just yards away. Suddenly here comes ole Mr. Handy with his freak Popeye arm making the cat grab shoe leather whilst detaching his ass from the rest of his body. Then after that Mr. Lewis rolls up and after calling the punk a scallywag and a ne’er-do-well and telling him that he needs a haircut and to pull his pants up, makes em walk the whole block picking up trash. I bet that’ll make muthafuckers stop that shit wouldn’t it? Word
"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Creature in Boston said...

Hello, Greg. I finally looked at your sight and had to open my own account to be able to post a coment. That's fine with me. This could be kind of fun.

Ya, the whole littering thing sucks. Living in old tired city, you see more litter and less resources to take care of it. But as you say, the best remidy would be to make people accountable for their own trash thru various means.

Aside from litter and the lesons one can learn from a teacher with Popeye arms, what else is on your mind?

Missing you pal, yancy

3:17 PM  
Blogger your brother said...

The above of Mr Handy & Mr Lewis was one of not many of their nicer days..

3:18 PM  
Blogger Tulipana said...

I agree. One of my biggest peeves.
What really gets me even more. Cigerette butts. Fucking everywhere. People for some fucking reason don't think of them as trash. It irks me to no end. Fine put trash into your own body, I'll even deal w/ the 2nd hand cancersmoke but please put yr. fucking trash in the fucking garbage.


2:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally agree but as one who is a victim of the public school system (on the other end, I might add) it is now considered corporal punishment. I think it is B.S. since the parents are either too busy or too scared to teach it to their own crumbsnatchers themselves.

11:21 PM  

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