small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: blast from the past. something I call Strange Love

Tuesday, November 30

blast from the past. something I call Strange Love

My pal Michelle told me something the other day that I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around. Whilst she was hanging out in Loose Park the other day, she claims to have been a witness to a duck gangbang just scant yards from where she was sitting. The way her version goes five ducks landed near her and whilst one duck kept watch, two other ducks grabbed what can only be assumed was a chick duck and held her down while the other ducks took turns fucking her. Now, with all that being said and me not being an expert in Ornithology, I wasn’t aware that ducks were into the gangbang thing. I also wasn’t aware that duck’s had duck cocks to gangbang with. I never eaten a duck but I’ve eaten a lot of chicken, and when you buy the chicken in the store and pull out that little pouch of giblets and shit, I’ve never seen a tiny chicken cock sittin off in there. And yeah, I wasn’t there and I love and trust Michelle, but come the fuck on, duck’s holding another duck down whilst pullin the ole train on her? That just don’t sound kosher. And I know that ducks reproduce and shit, I’m just not up on all the schematics. I just can’t imagine some duck from the bad side of the tracks telling his duck boy’s;
“all right youse, when that bitch lands to eat the bread see, we’re gonna jump her see. Then I’m hopping on back see, and plowin her like I got John Deer stamped on my ass see”?
Nope, just can’t see it. And the worst of it? I know the next time I’m around a live chicken or duck, goose, whatever, I’m feeling it up just to see if it pops a stiffie or what. And if it pushes back and follows me home, then I guess I got a new friend and something for show & tell.
"and the monkey flipped the switch"

Death says;
Damn, who knew I’d actually have a story validated. Josh whose webblog is called “thoughts from Kansas” actually studies this kind of shit and breaks the duck rape down into scientific terms. Check it out cause it makes a great read and makes me very happy that the fuckin ducks don’t have thumbs and fingers and shit.


Blogger Josh Rosenau said...

I just put together a blog post about duck rape and duck genitalia.The short version is that chickens don't have penises, ducks do, and gang rape is not uncommon.

Homosexuality and necrophilia are also not rare in ducks. Those guys are trouble, watch out.

6:59 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Lol, I heard about this phenonmenon. They gang rape her until she floats off and dies. So never let a woman complain to you about how the dating scene sucks, "men ain't shit" without bringing up the fact that, hey, it could be worse. She could be a duck. ;)

11:02 AM  
Blogger Eric said...

I was there and witnessed the carnage first hand. It was truly traumatic for both of us, but I suppose it's good to know that it does have some basis in nature... At least the ducks weren't under alien mind control or something.

2:59 PM  

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