small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>fluffing the short hairs</strong>

Monday, November 29

fluffing the short hairs

Best quote of the day:
“People always make fun of the Redneck until their car breaks down”
(Larry the Cable Guy)

Here’s a startling eye-opener, we all have a bit of the redneck inside us. No matter your color or how hip you think you can be, the redneck gene is in you. Shit, I dig sittin on the couch buckassed nekked watching TV fluffing my short hairs. Tell me that’s not a redneck trait. And I’ve actually been in some pretty cool doublewides. Like one of my redneck friends used to say;
“not many muthafuckers can just up and move their shit whenever the need arises”
Word. Hell I wouldn’t mind have a nice doublewide except for the fact that they’re tornado magnets. It’s almost a guarantee that if a tornado lands it’s gonna be on top of a trailer park. And it makes no matter where they are, you can put a trailer park in the middle of the fuckin Rainforest and sooner or later a tornado’s going to find it. How many of you have had the famous cinder block bookshelf? Who out there hasn’t caught themselves admiring a good mullet? And who hasn’t hit on someone at the clinic? All redneck traits. It breaks down to this, when you’re at the nice restaurant and you drop that chicken leg on the floor, you ask the waiter to pick it up and bring you another one. When you’re at home eating dinner sittin on the couch watching TV and you drop the chicken leg on the floor, you pick it up and blow it off and keep on eating. I’m just sayin is ass.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


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