small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>tell em Killroy was here</strong>

Wednesday, December 15

tell em Killroy was here
I’ve been following this story about this disk jockey who started a “smokes for soldiers” drive and got his listeners to donate over five thousand packs of smokes for our fighting men and women in Iraq, Afghanistan and Kosovo. The DJ said he got the idea after reading about a Marine in Iraq who was photographed dangling a cigarette from his mouth by the Los Angeles Times. The Marine was also quoted saying, “Tell Marlboro I'm down to four packs”. Now I’m not down with war and I’m not down with the shit going on in Iraq. But we’re over there and that’s that, so I am down with supporting out troops and making sure they got all the shit they need to either kill a muthafucker or keep from getting killed by some muthafuckers. So I thought the smokes for soldiers seemed like some cool shit. But of course with all and any free shit there’s always some cocksucker out there just lying in wait to pee on the parade. Like the American Lung Association who’s not only denouncing the cigarette drive but bad mouthing the photo of the soldier caught smoking that made all the rounds. A spokesmen for the American Lung Association was quoted as saying that there are better ways to support troops "than by sending them a product that, when taken as directed, will kill them." Wow, somebody needs to tell this cat to put the cock back betwixt his cheek and gums and shut the fuck up. Unless you’re a starving pot bellied Ethiopian or Sasquatch and shit, I think we all know that smoking cigarettes are bad for you. But dealing with landmines, suicide bombers and muthafucker’s doing Allah’s best to kill you instead of being home chasing pussy or hugging your kids on Christmas morning isn’t? What a bunch of crapulous bullshit. If a soldier wants a smoke, then goddammit give the boy a fucking smoke. What, after dodging bullets and bombs do you really think that these kids are hunkering down beside the tank thinking about the chances of getting cancer from smoking? The American Lung Association also says rather than cigarettes, supporters should send such goodies as telephone cards, gum, hard candy (for dry mouth), Baby Wipes (to wipe dust) and hand lotion, because this stuff "won't hinder their combat readiness today or leave them addicted when they come home." Whatever, that’s all good but I’m just saying let the kids light up when they feel the fucking need. Shit, I stopped smoking for almost three years to the day 9-11 happened. That afternoon of the same day I took a break from all the insanity going on in the office and decided to take a walk around the block to ease out a bit. It was then that I realized that every office building around us had been ordered vacated. Shit, I stood there thinking it over then I did the bum’s rush on the first person I saw on the fucking street. “Got a smoke”? I inhaled that muthafucker thinking that if I was gonna die and I couldn’t get laid or drunk I’m gonna have a smoke or two or three. Which is just me saying that if a soldier’s ducking a dodging and wants a smoke, don’t give the muthafucker any shit, just hand the pack over and let it be.
"and the monkey flipped the switch"


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