small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>baby talk</strong>

Monday, January 31

baby talk

Last night between stubbed toes and excessive pain, Michelle and I somehow got on the subject of male circumcision. And please don’t ask me how, that’s just the way we roll when we hang out together. Now, to tell the truth I’ve never given the matter of circumcision much thought except for the fact that my brother is and I’m not. Which bring up the question, which one of my fuckin parents was out of the room when that decision was made? I was talking to this cat at the bus stop this morning about the subject and he told me that he was out fetching burgers and shit for his wife when the decision was made.

It seemed that his wife was all for it whilst he was against it. And when it came time to tell the doctor rock or scissors, he was sent to get fast food. And his wife chose to cut because she didn’t want the kid to feel awkward in the locker room? Which next to cultural or religious reasons is one of the primary reasons circumcisions are preformed. Or, as my many inside sources tell me, “fuckin kids can be cruel, and will find things to pick on another kid about, whether it be his fat ass, glasses, or freckles. Some parents think that their son should be circumcised so that he will "match" his father, brothers, or friends”. But what does the foreskin do you may ask?

Well according again to my many inside sources who apparently love this subject, they tell me that the foreskin provides ample loose skin for the penis to occupy when erect. It is a movable skin sheath for the penis during intercourse, reducing chafing and the need for artificial lubricants, and allowing the glans and foreskin to naturally stimulate each other. Now from personal experience I can tell you that I dig being uncircumcised except when it come time to strap on a rubber. With the, and I quote, “movable skin sheath”, wearing rubber’s is a chore because they want to keep rolling up and shit. Which is a small thing because it’s a small thing to deal with cause I’m just happy to be there.

Now during the conversation Michelle told me that if I want I can have the foreskin restored. The fuck you say? It took me most of my life to get comfortable with my cock and I’m not about to change things this late in the game. But the thought intrigued me enough to contact my many inside sources about slapping some foreskin back on big willie. Here’s what they told me, and again I quote.

“The term "foreskin restoration" can refer to any method of recreating a facsimile of a foreskin to cover the head of the penis, for men who have lost their original foreskin due to circumcision. This can be done either by surgical means, or non-surgically by gradual stretching (tissue expansion). A more accurate term for surgical restoration is "foreskin reconstruction." Most of the resources on the Internet are focused on non-surgical restoration. Despite the name "restoration" or "reconstruction," it is not possible to actually restore a lost foreskin.
A natural foreskin contains specialized nerve endings, muscles and blood vessels that are necessary for normal sexual function and sensation.

While to some degree these functions can be recreated, once the original tissue is cut off and thrown away, it can never be fully recovered. Nevertheless, foreskin restoration can greatly enhance the sexual experience, and will improve daily personal comfort. Restored men have reported feelings of wholeness, empowerment, and "taking back their bodies from the circumcisers."

And with that I think I’ve broached this subject long enough. Not that I can believe that I’ve even talked about this muthafucker this long. But this is one of those issues that since the little nippers are too young to talk, only the parent’s can decide, whither it be for cultural, religious, or looks. Or whither to just leave the kid alone and let nature and time work its course. Please talk amongst yourselves.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger satyavati said...

The nurse votes for circumcision. Bear in mind I have no children. However, I've seen some bad situations, such as what can happen if you let yourself get nasty and get an infection under the foreskin.. or what might happen if for some reason the foreskin doesn't go back to where it belongs.. or if thre's swelling and the foreskin essentially starts strangling the rest of everything.. I could go on but you might be eating your lunch. Needless to say, my vote goes with circumcision. I figure, most men can't even pick up their socks. Let's make it as easy for them as we can, hmm?

9:54 AM  
Blogger Death said...


9:58 AM  
Blogger your brother said...

Checked with the widow as to why I was and you wasn't. She said...tell you what, just give her a call.

11:32 AM  
Blogger sex scenes at starbucks said...

You know, it's a hard one to decide. When my son had it done they brought him back screaming and I was the only one there to comfort him. That was fine and good, except I'd had a C-section and had hardly held him at all. So my first long hold of my new kid was when he was screaming bloody mary for having his teensy peensie fucked with.

Would I do it again? Yeah, probably. I vote with the nurse. The kid argues about washing his hair every time he takes a shower. I just wouldn't want to go there, ya know?

12:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thank u, but theres just some shit about the family, in this case, my dear brothers, i dont think i have any use in knowing...
so says the sister...

12:59 PM  
Blogger laas said...

Being uncut myself, and never having any problems other than a bit of teasing, I have never had the urge to slice it off. It's useful. Your posts are always good and make me laugh regularly. Thanks.

1:28 PM  
Blogger Monkey said...

Great post!
Where on earth did you find that picture for this entry!? That's incredible!

8:37 PM  
Blogger Death said...

I can find about anything in google images

1:38 PM  

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