snow day

We’re having our first snow/ice/rain storm of the New Year, and I’m sitting on the couch watching the news, which was all about the bad weather and shit. And I won’t swear to it but I think in describing the oncoming onslaught I heard the word Armageddon bandied about. The fuckin news in this town kills me; they’ll take fairly mundane shit and ramp it up to the point where muthafucker’s get their panties all bunched up and shit and start attacking each other in the fuckin grocery stores like it’s the end of all things. But anyway that’s not what’s important now, whilst sitting there watching all the doom and gloom the school closings are scrolling thru the bottom of the TV screen.
At first I noticed normal shit like Piper USD 203, Maple Woods Community College, Bannister Christian Academy. Then it started getting to the good shit like Laquiesha’s school of nails and hair, north, Laquiesha’s school of nails and hair, east, Laquiesha’s school of nails and hair, south. Jews for Jesus Academy of self-defense, Pat Robert’s Voc Tech & missionary school, The Ray Charles Children’s Center for the visually impaired, blind & hard of hearing, and Missouri City, which is cool because how many times do you hear that shit’s so fucking bad that a whole town say’s fuck it, let’s close this muthafucker? This morning the Man gave us the option of coming in two hours late or just staying the fuck home, but since I catch the bus I really couldn’t see staying home. So I got up and after warming the car up and shaving fifty pounds of ice off the stinkin windows, I drove to my regular parking spot and walked down to get a cup of Broadway Coffee Shop coffee. You know, I don’t know about you muthafucker’s that live in the more climate regions and shit, but here in the Midwest one of the first things you learn as a driver is winter driving. But sitting on the bus stop this morning with the streets covered with a layer of ice, I was amazed at how many people were just beatin ass going up and down the street. Not only doing the speed limit but driving well over it on ice and shit. What a bunch of dumbass instead of waiting for shit to maybe happen let’s make shit happen non-driving snowcone eatin retard fucks.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"