small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>demonic birds</strong>

Tuesday, February 1

demonic birds
A quick update on the circumcision thing from yesterday, it seemed that my brother who lives in DC read my post and he called my mother long distance to ask her why he was and I wasn’t. Unwittingly I call my mother last night to ask her a question about cooking pot roast and suddenly she wants to know why I’m so concerned about circumcision and shit. I tell it wasn’t a big deal; just something I happened to write about. My mother say’s the best shit whilst on the phone with me.
“Why didn’t you tell somebody? I’ve gone all these years thinking that you were circumcised. If it’s a problem you can still get it done.”
I had to reassure her that I was ok with things. But isn’t that sweet, my mother is so concerned about her baby’s well being, aren’t mother’s great?

Bus stop quote of the morning;
“You know when there’s a lot of bird shit on the sidewalk it’s a sign of demonic activity”

This came from this cat standing at the bus stop near me this morning. He was referring to all the black birds hanging out in the trees across the street in front of the coffee shop that had crapped all over the sidewalk.

Quote not withstanding, this cat looked kind’a demonic himself. He had to be one of the blackest black men I’ve seen come down the pike in a long while. This cat was so black he was like blackhole in space black. As a matter of fact as he stood there next to me I wouldn’t swear to it but he seemed to be sucking in all the ambient light in the bus stop he was so black.

And as for the birds across the street, I noticed all of em this morning as I was waiting outside for the Broadway Coffee shop to open. There’s this large tree directly in front of the coffee shop, and it was just full of dozens of these large black birds. So I’m standing there under the large tree looking up at all these birds when I found myself backing up and then ramming the tree with my shoulder. The birds just sat there in the tree looking down at me like I was kind of dumbass or something, so I backed up and rammed the large tree again.

Again nothing happened, I was quite disappointed in myself that the tree didn’t move. Luckily for me just then the coffee shop opened up and I went on in, cause I knew if I stood out there any longer I would’a hurt something ramming the tree. And you know what, after reading over what I just wrote, how odd am I that it seemed perfectly normal to be out in full public view trying to ram a tree hard enough to shake birds out of it? No wonder folks standing in line in the coffee shop never make eye contact with me.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

or the birds were waiting for u to shake 'em up one mo time and they were gonna all shit on u all at once! but then u'da called the mother woman to come cut the tree down cause the birds and the tree was messin' w/ her baby and it'ta gotten really ugly...... says the sister.......

1:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, some things shouldn't be left alone. Some things need to be rammed.


7:55 AM  
Blogger Sapphire Raven said...

Ohhhhhh! LOL. I know how to get those birds down fom the tree's. Let's find someone willing enough to cover themself's in honey and poor bird seed all over thier body and walk throught the streets squaking like a chicken with his head cut off. That would make those fearthed fiends relly move.

Hey frank look walking food.....Let it go bob I waiting for death tome back and try it again. Could'nt you just see it....LoL.

7:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your sister's right. What dumb bastard is going to walk underneath shitting birds and look up, let alone ram the tree. It's a good thing you like hawaiian shirts and shave your head. The bird shit that splats down upon you is easier to either clean up or go unnoticed. In fact I think I recall one of your shirts and understand it better now. K Sose

1:03 PM  

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