small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>blast from the past</strong>

Wednesday, March 30

blast from the past

It must be heart warming to be of the Catholic persuasion. Here’s a religion where you can act up all you want, even screw your neighbor’s wife or babysitter or harm another human being. You can steal or lie and lead a day-to-day existence of immoral corpulence fuckin muthafucker’s over to your heart’s content. But after a hard day of being an asshole you can go to church and walk into this phone booth thingy and confess all your sins to the cat on the other side and boom, a few Hail Mary’s and you’re resolved of everything. I’m not sure how all the other religions work it out but this sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

Maybe it’s their payoff for being such gloomy muthafuckers when they worship. We Baptist aren’t much different in that respect, we tend to pray and sing a lot then beat our sins out of each other. Then you have the Muslims. No drinkin or wild abandonment or eating bacon. Let’s just keep things on the straight and narrow. I used to be friends with a couple of Theology students and they always told me that I needed to read the Bible at least four or five times to get the big picture. Their favorite pitch was that the Good Book contained everything I liked, sex, greed, drama, fighting and all that. I don’t know, I just never saw it quite that way, but then I have a short attention span too.

If religion and church or reading the Bible everyday suits a person’s needs, then I fully encourage that person to do so. But as with everything else it should be a choice. Whole races of peoples have been eliminated from the face of the earth in the name of religion, and they still are to this day. Some people don’t see it but it can be called a form of obscure racism. If we can’t change your color then goddammit we’ll change the way you view your god or you’ll get stricken down with righteous anger and you and yours will be no more.

Whatever happened to the days when two cats would meet on a mountaintop and ask each other about their respective religions. After a good listening one cat would compliment the other cat on some of his religion’s better points and ask if he could add them to his own worships. Then the other cat would do the same. No fighting or any of that bullshit, just two guy’s on a mountaintop exchanging ideas.
“So your god and religion allows you to marry more then one women? Sweet! And repeat that part about free salt to all, would ya”. And the other cat might say, “so your religion says that all men of a certain age must cover their loins with cloth? I’m so over that, the rash is killing me”
Not a bad way to spread the word, eh? Oh, take this post with a grain of salt, god did.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Arathorn said...

Just wanted to take a min and thank you for your efforts. Being a wrestling fan (I say unashamedly) The view from the Spanish Anoouncers table caught my attention and I am glad it did. I will add you to my list of faves and again keep up the great and imaginative works.

12:14 PM  
Blogger Death said...

thank you! Such nice words coming from one with such a rich background is a compliment indeed.

12:43 PM  
Blogger Monkey said...


Great post! All well said!


12:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I see a bunch of generalizations here...there are plenty of us who have read the Book and don't attempt to cram it down your throat. Generalizing people and lumping them into groups is a bit beneath you.

8:24 AM  
Blogger Death said...

I find it fascinating the response this post always brings out’a people. Did you even read the last line? Goddamn, take a deep breath will ya. And as always, thank you for reading. :)

8:30 AM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Wonderful post! But I didn't just take it with a grain of salt, I also took it with Lasangia, scalloped patatos, and Black eyed beans.


12:44 PM  

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