small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>blast from the past,the happy negro</strong>

Thursday, March 10

blast from the past,the happy negro


ain't nobody dope as me I'm dressed so fresh so clean

You know what’s pissing me the fuck off? McDonald’s new advertising campaign with the sucky hiphop theme. McDonald’s is worse then an inner-city liquor store the way they push the dancing Negro and shit. For years it’s been the same old assed shit, you turn on the stinkin TV and soon enough a McDonald’s commercial comes on advertising their fuckin big Macs. Suddenly the screen is filled with happy nimble dancing and singing Negroes. What? Are happy Negroes the only demographic that eats this shit?

This is like some old step and fetch it from back in the day. In thru the door of McDonald’s walks the happy Negro who steps up to the fuckin counter and with a huge toothy grin starts looking up at the menu. Behind the counter waiting with an equally large grin is the happy Negro running the counter,
“Hi cans I help you, my happy Negro brother”?
“Well, I be starving like a muthafucker and shit so how abouts layin on me one of those juicy delicious Big Macs, and a cold refreshing Coca Cola, my happy Negro sister”

Whilst all this is going on, in the background can be heard Old dirty Bastard singing the McDonald’s theme song to a catchy hiphop beat. Suddenly thru the door come fifteen more happy Negro’s, dancing and doing summersaults and break dancing, cause being at McDonald’s has uplifted their normally depressed spirits. And to farther prove that McDonald’s is the place for the happy Negro to go eat, all the happy Negro’s behind the counter rip off their smocks to reveal choir robes.

And they start singing the muthafuckin Hallelujah Chorus and swinging to and fuckin fro as the manager stomps out to reveal that under his uniform he’s really fuckin Ronald McDonald. Who then moonwalks out the fuckin door and starts passing out cheeseburger’s and fries to all the happy Negro children who just happen to be hanging outside the fuckin building which instead on being on a busy street is now in the middle of a scenic woodlands scene with little furry animals running underfoot and shit. Goddamn I hate this happy Negro bullshit!!!!
"and the monkey flipped the switch"

2 Comments:

Blogger The Mayor said...

That's funny shit. There is of course the "happy negro", but the one I really hate is the "geeky white boy". I suppose there is not one cool white guy left on the planet, all that's left are a bunch of fucking rejects. Happy negro and geeky white boy, I'm not Lovin' it.

9:11 AM  
Blogger joe said...

On point.

1:30 PM  

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