small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>it's just a fuckin movie</strong>

Tuesday, March 1

it's just a fuckin movie


they're coming!
I want to a talk little bit today about movies and fiction and fact and all that good shit. See, here’s the deal. I rented the film “Troy” and watched it last night during a delicious dinner of roasted chicken sandwiches topped off with vanilla ice cream. After said viewing I came to the conclusion that I really enjoyed the movie and was surprised at the intense performance given off by Brad Pitt who played the Greek hero Achilles. Now being in the past a rabid reader of Greek and Norse mythology along with Homer's Iliad, I had more then a passing familiarity with some shit.

But that knowledge was tempered because I also knew that I was viewing a Hollywood movie that more or less tends to turn shit like that into the cliff notes version if that. And since I was watching a Hollywood movie and not the fuckin Discovery Channel I was cool with everything. So when I hear muthafucker’s talking about a movie like that, and that it wasn’t “historically” accurate or that certain characters were missing, I really want to tell these high and mighty fuckholes to eat my ass out. It’s always some cockchoker that wants everyone to know that he or she’s a graduate student of Literature or some such shit, so they should know what they’re talking about. I got this quote from one such review.
“We were very disappointed to see that such a literary masterpiece was altered to an unrecognizable extent! Essentially apart from key plots being omitted, the nature of the characters was depicted in a very shallow manner”.
Ohmygod, to be that fuckin pompous and able to eat buttered popcorn must be a hell of a trick. These are the same little fluffers that also insist on playing history detectives and screaming about how certain shit couldn’t have been because of this or that factor. Well I’m here to say that you schoolmarm bitches really fuck up movie watching for me. You need to understand that you’re watching a goddamned Hollywood movie and that if you want fact over fiction pick up a shittin book or turn to the History Channel.


"and the monkey flipped the switch"

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just can't wrap my mind around the idea of Brad Pitt playing Achilles. He just doesn't strike me as the mighty warrior type. In fact, I think the sumbitch just might be a woman.

Acidman

3:28 PM  
Blogger Death said...

I know it's hard to figure but he made it work. surprised the fuck out of me.

3:32 PM  
Blogger Sid said...

I'm still waiting for your use of "giant boobie insides," mister. If I don't have it by tomorrow, I must insist you write "I will remember to use Sid's 'giant boobie insides'" 100 times on the blackboard...

10:10 PM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Hollywood is the last place I get historical info. Even the history channel is guilty of poor research or sensasionalism.

9:35 AM  

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