stinkin luck of the Irish

I was so angry my dick got hard!

Saint Patrick’s day started off real good for me even though the Broadway Coffee Shop was closed due to the expected deluge of drunken pricks that would soon wrap Westport in their foul beer stained embrace. So instead of stopping there for a coffee before my bus I headed to the Hurricane, which was open at seven AM due to the fact that one of the local rock stations was broadcasting their morning show from there. I hung out there for a bit and after having a cup of coffee headed across the street to catch my bus downtown. So I’m on this muthafucker and when it comes to the spot where it’s supposed to make a right turn to go by Crown Center and then hook a left down Grand past my building, the driver keeps going stright into downtown.

I figure maybe he’s detouring around where all the parade entrants are staging for the parade and shit, which would be just in front of Crown Center. But after a few blocks I see that the cocksucker’s hell bent on going into downtown and nowhere near my stop. I look around and there’s this little girl with a real panicked look on her face cause she’s supposed to get off at Crown Center. So I get up and walk up to the driver and ask him what’s up? He states that because of the parade all the regular stops into downtown are being bypassed. Now me being me means that I had checked the Metro’s website just to make sure that I could take the bus and not my car and that muthafucker said the route change wouldn’t come until fuckin nine AM, and it was just now seven-forty-five and shit. Armed with that knowledge I felt empowered to say,

“what, you couldn’t give a shout-out or warn us and shit that things had switched up on us”?

The stupid driver looked at me and said,

“you can get off here walk if you like”

Now I consider myself a study man but I found myself seriously entertaining the notion of dragging that lippy son-of-a-bitch out from behind the wheel of his large moving vehicle and throwin both my feet up his ass. But all I said was to stop the bus. I’m now somewhere around sixteenth and Walnut lookin at a two mile walk back in to work.

After walking almost two fuckin miles past a seamlessly endless line of muthafucker’s dressed in green I get to my goddamned office. I stomp into the building, stomp to the elevator, stomp to our office’s and after stomping to my desk, I start beatin out a letter to the Metro bus company tellin em what I thought of their muthafuckin shit and their inconsiderate driver. Which I assumed instead of becoming the rude black bastard I wanted to be was the politically correct thing to do in such a situation as this? Anyway the next day I got a reply to my letter stating the bus driver insisted that he informed folks of the route change as soon as they boarded the bus. And that as he was coming up on the turn to Crown Center he again informed the bus as a whole that he would be bypassing that area due to the parade. After reading their response I penned my own, and I felt sort’a proud of myself with the restraint I showed.

Thank you for replying so promptly to my complaint, but your operator is lying; I can’t make it any clearer than that unless I was standing there in front of you. He never issued a single statement indicating his route change and his route change caught more then a few of us by surprise due to his lack of action. Thank you for your time tending to this manner, your response shows that at least you seem to care about showing some pride in what you do.

And with that I let it go because life’s too short for me to be walking around in public that pissed.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"