small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: <strong>I'm a sleepless bum today</strong>

Monday, April 18

I'm a sleepless bum today

stop looking at me!!

Saturday I spent most of the day fucking with my cocksuckin computer which is gonna be the fuckin death of me yet. I got it all rebuilt and running but for some reason when I shut it down it keeps going into this insane reboot cycle and it really got me all beat up with the dumbass. I can’t seem to figure it out and I actually had to go into some shit and uncheck the “reboot automatically upon error” tab. Which doesn’t solve my muthafuckin problem, just puts it off until I can figure some shit out. So if any of you deep thinker’s know a fix for my shit, please don’t feel the need NOT to holler out.

So after dealing with that most of the day I had to get dressed and head down to the Hurricane to be there when the A to Z party came stumbling in. The A to Z is a yearly event where a bunch of people get together and starting at ten in the morning visit every bar on the alphabet where they must have a drink. The city’s broken up into zones and they take a bus or van to each area and hit every bar on their list. The last bar on the list is always the Hurricane, and that’s where I was to meet em as they all came in around eight-thirty that night. I never partake of the A to Z festivities because like I always tell em, I can barely stand drinking with people I like, much less going to almost thirty bars on a bus. But I’m more then happy to meet em all at the end to make sure that everybody gets home safely and isn’t doing anything stupid like driving.

Before the hardcore drinker’s showed up I went out on the back deck to check out the band and I ran into four or five black cats I knew. So we’re all standing around shooting the shit when I decided to show em my new belt buckle which happens to be this huge extremely cool silverskull.

the teeth move and everything!

After showing it to all of em it struck us how this must’a looked to people that didn’t know what was going on. There’s a bunch of white people sitting on the upper part of the deck and I got my back to em whilst standing in front of me are all the black cats checking out my buckle. All the white folks sitting behind me see is me pulling up the front of my shirt and suddenly all the black guys exclaiming and bending toward my crotch and doing the bowing we aren’t worthy motion. We imagined this exchange going on behind us.
“Hmmm, so that’s how black guys do it. They show their cocks off to one another, must be an alpha male black thing”
I guess you had to be there. Huh?

This morning I never made it in to work due to a bad night of insomnia. So I decided to go and do my laundry and afterwards go by the coffee shop, figuring that might help me get to sleep. Whilst in the coffee shop this very hot, very breasty woman came in wearing a low-cut halter top. She grabbed her coffee and took a table just a bit in front of mine and started reading her paper. I’m sitting there drinking my coffee and noticed some interesting observations. Any cat that came in dressed in a suit or tie and not looking like they were from the neighborhood, more or less fell over themselves trying to check her out, and cats from the area not in suits or ties, after the casual glance never paid her anymore attention.

Suit or tie, and it didn’t matter if they were with another woman or not, did everything they could to find a reason to walk or get near the halter chick’s table. It got to the point where muthafucker’s were just acting rude and blatantly doing the open slack jawed stare. I think it was very lucky for them that halter chick was cool and as with most women with big racks, used to all the commotion and never looked up from her paper. Cause there was this one asshole in a tie reading the stocks that parked his ass just across from her and decide to be a real jerk about it, who really deserved a hot latté across the lap.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


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