small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: blast from the past....power tool abuse???

Thursday, May 5

blast from the past....power tool abuse???


hittin that pussy with 1200 psi

I was outside having a couple of smokes for lunch and I got mentally involved in these cats doing some jackhammer work around the building. I might be wrong but it seemed very relaxing, yes, no? But oddly it kept bringing to mind this San Francisco lesbian porno I watched one day. I guess the reason why was that I’m sure as a muthafucker if you got the right chick with a jackhammer it’d make for some fine entertainment.

In this porno I saw were chicks using air chisels with dildos stuck on the ends of em, and they seemed to be having the time of their lives. You had half a dozen oiled up nekked women in the middle of the room and off in the corner was this bigassed air compressor hooked up to all these pneumatic tools. Air chisels, impact wrenches, all kinds of shit. There’d be some chick strapped to a huge cross frame and after covering her in Quaker State 10W40 oil the chicks would plug in one of the tools and have a go at the chick’s cooze for a while. And during all the time the chick’s getting ramjammed up the cooze by an impact wrench set on warp speed she’s screaming,
“YEAH! YEAH! HIT THAT MUTHAFUCKER! YEAH!! OH MY GOD, BEAT THAT PUSSY!!! BEAT THAT PUSSY! THAT’S MOMMY’S PUSSY! YEAH! YEAH”!
And I’m here to tell you, seein a woman enjoy herself so much was kind’a touching. The looks on the faces of the other chicks in the movie were almost frightening though, cause after the strapped up chick was done they turned on each other. It was like some fucked up carnage and shit. They’re all crouched down staring at each other to see who’d blink first and suddenly one of em would bum rush one of the other’s and forearm her ass down and next thing you knew, that chick had a Dirt Devil or some such shit getting shoved up her ass. It was like goddamn, I’m glad I’m not a lesbian living in San Francisco getting all frisky with the Snap-On tools and shit. But then again, a cat can’t buy that kind of fun.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

5 Comments:

Blogger Nightmare said...

I love chicks and power tools.

I went back and looked at that Steve, Bob, and Rich album and it too is signed but it is made out to my brother and then I remembered why, I had stole it from him 15 years ago!

MUUUHHHAAAAA!!

7:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow sounds like some crazy porn dude...

9:43 AM  
Blogger Bella said...

That sounds like fun however I'd rather have guys doing that to me than women. :)

11:06 AM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Good Lord, man, I don't want power tools. Hell, I don't want anything that runs on more than a C battery.
Yuck.

11:19 AM  
Blogger Sid said...

*twitch, weep*

I am so scared....

were they doing it to living colour?

kidding

12:44 PM  

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