small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: sweatin the small stuff

Friday, May 6

sweatin the small stuff

greg’s gone, will you please feed me?

Sorry about putting this out so late today but because I may be out of touch for a while, I decided to do an extended version of sweatin the small stuff. So bitches, as they say in TV land and shit, “and away we go”!

From the “But, I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?” department.

Comes a story from the Big Apple of Gambino family wise guys, dead bodies, illegally drugs, mob hits and illicit favors………….what? No dead bodies? No mob hits? Excuse me folks, my many inside sources keep interrupting me…….really, the hell you say? That’s all that happened??? Are you sure?……….ok…

Well it seems that my initial information was all fucked up and shit. It seems that the FBI busted a group of doctors for providing drugs to the Gambino crime family. The drugs were provided in return for favors rendered which included….. discounted prices for construction and auto repair work, done by Gambino family-controlled businesses; and use of Gambino family capo Gregory DePalma's table at Rao's Italian restaurant in the Harlem section of New York City?….

excuse me again. That’s it? I give you drugs and you give me fuckin discounts on fixing my car and shit? ….and the best table at Rao’s?…………….what kinds of drugs were those?…crack… heroin….what? Fuckin Viagra, Cialis and Levitra? Aren’t all those stay hard drugs?s so you’re tellin me the fuckin FBI did wiretaps and snapped snitches just to bust the muthafucker’s for Viagra and shit?

get the fuck out’a here…not much of a story is it….and no mob sure? Just a bunch of old mobsters sitting around wanting their dicks to get hard? Ok folks, I guess we best be moving on.

Now from the “be all you can be, even though you live in Kansas” department.

A six-day courtroom-style debate opened Thursday in Kansas over what children should be taught in schools about the origin of life -- was it natural evolution or did God create the world? The hearings, complete with opposing attorneys and a long list of witnesses and shit, were arranged amid efforts by some Christian groups in Kansas and nationally to reverse the domination of evolutionary theory in the nation's schools.

Ok since my many inside sources fucked up the first one and I feel somewhat strongly about this, I’ll take this one. What the great state of Kansas, and I use the term “great” very sarcastically are debating is wither life evolved naturally or did god create life as we know it. I can’t even understand how this can be a valid argument in the day and age. I guess the next big thing to come out of Kansas it that the fuckin earth is flat and shit and that if you sail too far the fuckin boat will fall off it’s edge.

What we have is a group of people contesting the fact that in our PUBLIC SCHOOLS, kids are taught that life and shit evolved naturally over millions of years. This group wants the PUBLIC SCHOOLS to switch up their shit and teach some bullshit called Intelligent Design. Which teaches that life didn’t evolve naturally, but that god is the reason behind everything. Which means that these are most likely the same muthafuckers that insist that the bible is an accurate historical document and that the earth was thrown together only six thousand years ago.

Anyway, they made enough noise that instead of saying “thanks for your input, we’ll call you”, the Man is putting all this shit up for debate. Sad to say this ain’t the first time this crap has come up for debate. Kansas has been fuckin with the issue for years, capturing worldwide attention in 1999 when the state school board voted to downplay Charles Darwin's theory of evolution in science classes.

I don’t know, I just think that instead of teaching that god made the earth and all it’s shit in six days then kicked back the seventh in the fuckin PUBLIC SCHOOLS, this should remain in the home and church where shit like this belongs. I should note that most scientist worth a shit are skipping the stupid debate because as far as they’re concerned the religious zealots have more or less hijacked science and education."

Which I think is fucked because some of these muthafucker’s need some science dropped on their dumb asses. Because if we don’t watch out, teaching god in our PUBLIC SCHOOLS will become policy right under our very noses.

From the “you really think highly of yourself don’t you” department.

Do you really really think that Bruce Springsteen really gives a fat flyin rat’s ass that stinkin Starbucks refuses to carry his new CD? Plus it may just be me, but isn’t that when you know that you’ve sold out to the devil or you’ve jumped the shark, when cocksuckin Starbucks starts stocking your shit? According to my many inside sources, Springsteen’s new CD, “Devils & Dust” contains a little ditty called “Reno”.

This song of unrequited love is partly about a chance encounter with a hooker and how much to fuck her up the ass. Gots to give it to ole Bruce for leaving it real, but that’s why cocksuckin Starbucks is refusing to carry Bruce’s shit. Talk about ass fuckin hookers and crap like that just fucks em all up and shit. Must have something to do with the crappy coffee they sell over at cocksuckin Starbucks I figure. Just something else to blame on Janet Jackson’s tit flashing.

dammit, don’t I belong a couple of post up?

And lastly from the “not exactly the shit we expected” department.

Is how over the years the earth’s atmosphere has actually become cleaner and clearer due to reductions in industrial emissions in many countries. But now that the air’s cleaner and less shit’s floating around in it this may worsen the greenhouse effect due to the fact that more sunshine is able to reach the ground.

According to my many inside sources, reductions in industrial emissions, along with the use of particulate filters for car exhausts and smoke stacks, seem to have reduced the amount of dirt in the atmosphere and made the sky more transparent.

That sounds like very good fuckin news right? But my many inside sources say that more solar energy arriving on the ground will also make the surface warmer, and this may add to the problems of global warming. More sunlight will also have knock-on effects on cloud cover, winds, rainfall and air temperature that are difficult to predict. I don’t know, it all makes a muthafucker wonder what the fuck’s up is all I’m sayin. Do this and do that and shit will get right, but oops, our bad, lets not do so much of that. cocksuckers.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kansas. Even on a blog, it is mind numbing to try to formulate a comment about a State in the United States of America that debates teaching evolution. I can only imagine what the legitimate scientists who testify at the hearings are actually thinking, and what they actually want to say out loud.

I believe that Kansas gives great hope to China, Japan, India and other foreign technology competitors that the US is a faltering leader in technology. However, they must have mixed emotions, because when they become technologically dominant over us and they need to outsource to us, will we be able to produce enough scientists to help them? I'll bet they are already making plans to offer free college educations in their countries to educate sufficient US students to staff their future technology requirements.

So kids, study the Chinese, Hindi, Tamil, or Japanese language. You'll need it to remediate your Kansas science education. K Sose

2:11 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Lemme clarify this argument about evolution. The issue that people have with teaching evolution is that when it's taught in schools, it's taught as FACT and not THEORY. Despite what everyone tells you and what you might like to believe, evolution is still a THEORY, and not a FACT. There are in fact many good alternative THEORIES, including Intelligent Design, that can and should be presented ALONGSIDE evolution as alternative THEORIES.

It's unfortunate that anytime anyone makes a noise against the THEORY of evolution, people instantly lump them in with the hollow-earth group and Jerry Falwell. In reality, evolution is a theory that has not as of yet been definitively proven and that has more than a couple of holes in it, and it doesn't take a religious fanatic to see them. The point of the debate is to have children taught the reality; that evolution is THEORY not FACT and that they should remain openminded to other THEORIES about the issue.

Just thought I'd clear that up for yall.

11:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Scientific theory is taught as scientific theory and not fact. Scientific theory discovers black holes, puts men on the moon and explains how single cell organisms can evolve into multi cell organisms, and how sea dwellers can evolve into land dwellers.

Intelligent design is not based in science and is not a scientific theory. It is based in faith, and should be taught in churches and theological studies, not science class.

Although not on point, do you know what the definition of "mixed emotions" is? A Christian Scientist with appendicitis. K Sose

8:24 AM  
Blogger satyavati said...

If you ever watch the Discovery channel, see a show that deals with evolution, read any recent science textbook including ones on paleontology and geology.. you will see that evolution is presented as fact. There are no alternatives offered and no encouragement for free thought on the matter is given.

Intelligent design IS based in science and has a great deal to do with probability theory. It is significant that a great many esteemed scientists, including Albert Einstein, came independently to the conclusion that all these 'chance occurances' could not have occured by chance.

You might also be interested in the book "Forbidden Archaeology", which details anomalous archaelogical findings that have yet to be explained or even acknowledged in some cases by the scientific community.

The point of the matter is that there are alternatives to evolution, and it is a disservice to children to present one theory and not allow them to also explore others.

This is on a par with my eleventh grade "World Religions" teacher, who refused to discuss the Protestant Revolution because they were "wrong and you don't need to know about it."

Worth thinking about.

8:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's my theory on evolution. It's a womans world and I am dam proud to be in it....Now tie me down and use me as a sushi plate...Opp's sorry my fantasy sliped out....Have to learn to control the rush of evolution that's in my body....Dam I did it again...Yup it's a womans world god is a woman and us men are thier play toy's......Dam Evolution. At what part during it did the tiny little thing have a mind of it's own....Down Boy! Down! LOL....Evermore

Sapphire Raven

12:27 AM  

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