small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: sweatin the small stuff

Friday, May 27

sweatin the small stuff

From the “you have to die Steve” department;

Comes this story I’ve been reading about how a music store manager from Port Richey, Florida got busted this week for fuckin over a woman with Alzheimer’s disease who the Man says bought 11 organs from him over an 18 months period including four on a single day. It seems that the unethical cocksucker began selling the old lady shit starting back in 2003 and for each progressive sale, the cheating son-of-a-bitch sold the old lady a more expensive organ.

As soon as the woman’s family found out what was up they called the muthafucker and pleaded with him not to talk to the woman or sell her anymore shit due to her Alzheimer’s. But the little pussie refused to stop and kept fleecing the old lady. The ball-less no dick bastard was charged with felony exploitation of the elderly and was held on $10,000 bail at the Pasco County Jail. The cops said the old woman spent about $25,000 on organs and ended up with one worth only about half that.
The cops also said that she has not received any money back from the music store, which happens to be Fletcher Music Center at Gulfview Square Mall in Port Richey, Florida.

From running a music store back in the day I know some shit and can tell you that this muthafucker needs to have his ass thrown in jail and ass fucked by somebody with runny sores on their cock. You gotta be some special kind of trash to fuck over old ladies just for a sale and commission. Bitches like these have no place on this earth and need to be ball batted to death.

onward and beyond!!!!!

Now from the “fuckin all right already” department;

Comes the this story that the space shuttle Discovery has once again returned to the hanger to get some shit fixed. Just another delay in getting this muthafucker back out in space. The space shuttle Discovery just finished a nearly 10-hour trek back to the hangar Thursday to have a new and safer fuel tank installed, along with a heater to prevent a dangerous buildup of ice on its surface.

Discovery was already on the launch pad when the NASA eggheads figured that the ice that forms on the external tank when it is filled with super-cold fuel could break off during liftoff and proves as lethal as the chunk of foam insulation that fucked over Columbia. As a result, the agency decided to bring the shuttle back to the 52-story Vehicle Assembly Building. Kiss my ass, we build fighter’s that can fly in all kinds of fuckin weather. Fly all full of holes and shit from being shot the fuck up. But we build stinkin space shuttles to go into outer space that can’t be launched in the rain, or that face certain doom from ice or foam?

What, it’s been almost three years since the Columbia shuttle blew the fuck up? And I can understand the need for caution and shit getting things back up and running, but goddamn, enough already. I dig that space is dangerous and no one wants to see astronauts die again. But what every happened to “onward and beyond”? As long as NASA’s putting these muthafucker’s together with shit from the lowest bidder, nothings gonna be perfect. So just push the fuckin button and launch the muthafucker and cross your fuckin fingers. America’s manned space program needs a big ole hit of get back on the horse that threw you.

And lastly from the “corn eatin retard” department;

Comes the story of this dumb bastard who walked into a New York police station only to get busted due to his fuckin picture being plastered all over the muthafucker. According to my many inside sources, ole dumbass walked into the police station to inquire about one of his friends who was cooling his heels in lockup. He walks up to the counter to ask some shit when suddenly this detective speaks up.
“Hey, isn’t that you”?
As he pointed to a wanted poster on the wall right behind Mr. I don’t notice shit. The wanted poster was for a suspect in two taxicab robberies, which happened to be the cat at the counter. One cop was heard to say that in the thirty years he’s been on the force, he’s never seen the like. Meaning a crook that fuckin stupid waltzing into a police station.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

aaaaaaahhhhhhh (((big sigh))).........i just love fridays!
so says the sister

12:16 PM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

I read about the organ rip off earlier today and man did that piss me off. How can someone like that not feel guilty. He should be put in jail.

I just love the stupid criminal stories.

1:44 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Two things. One, the clown picture is really creeping me out. Two, I eat corn all the time, and you better not call me a retard.

7:06 PM  

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