small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: god said whoa

Tuesday, June 21

god said whoa


easy there tiger, I don’t know you that well


Ok, since my fuckin mood isn’t getting any better, I might as well get a good bitch going. What year is this, 2005, in the 21st Century? Man is sending probes to Mars and we even got probes in deep space and shit. People are living longer and healthier and the Russians are our allies and puppies and kitties are playing together and things are just perking along. Fuck, not withstanding who’s in office and all the stinking wars and shit, life in 2005 ain’t bad, hell, even the shit-flinging monkeys are making bank selling paintings and shit.

So please tell me and be sure to speak real slow in that voice that only retards and small children of questionable lineage understand. How is it that instead of doing this in the muthafuckin Middle Ages or maybe during the Industrial Age when it made sense instead of now in the fuckin year 2005, our courts and politicos are openly debating “intelligent design" as an alternative to evolution? Can someone please fill a muthafucker in on when things went batshit crazy and the fuckin Pod People took over? Cause I must’a been in the bathroom, I’m just sayin and shit.

Oh, oh, and the first person that tells me that the shit is even debatable gets called a cocksucker. No, no, let me rephrase that. The first person that tells me that (and I’m doin the finger thingie here) “intelligent design” needs to be taught in the fuckin schools gets called a cocksucker. You crazy Terri Schiavo getting up moonwalkin fucks. Isn’t this what the fuckin churches are for, to preach godspeak and shit like that? Isn’t that why folks go to church?

To hear how god created the earth in six days and rested on the seventh? Isn’t that what these muthafucker’s are for? And as far as I can tell, that’s what “intelligent design" is all about isn’t it? That the world around us is too complex to have been born of some great “accident”, that a great intelligence designed everything. Answers to all the great mysteries that surround us, like why doesn’t our noses drip into our mouths or some such shit. And I’m fine with that. I’m so fuckin fine with that shit that it would surprise a muthafucker.

But it belongs in the home and church, not in the schools. If when your stinkin baggy-pants wearin kids come home from school and you want to teach em that gods will emanates out’a the cat’s wrinkled starfish looking asshole. That’s cool. And if your church teaches you that “intelligent design" (and I’m doin the finger thingie again” is the way life happened. That’s cool too. But to want to change all the books and bring it into the schools as an alternative to evolution is what’s gonna bring on the fuckin zombies.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"

7 Comments:

Blogger Chronic The Hedgehog said...

Preach on!

I've found that since we can't beat 'em, we should just laugh at 'em.
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0605/flyingdinos.html

2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is ironic that when the US needs more scientists, there is a trend toward lazy man's science or "Intelligent Design". Kansas is part of that appalling trend.

I can imagine 2 ID scientists conversing at Stanford University’s new School of Intelligent Design Sciences (SIDS):

ID #1: These problems are really difficult and time consuming. Science sure can be tedious.

ID #2: Dude, science can't explain everything.

ID #1: You're right, of course. The explanation must be God.

ID #2: Brilliant, dude! The Creator! (Fist bumps) Time for lunch.

ID #1: We got a lot done today. We should be able to solve the rest of our scientific work by the end of the semester. When our grants run out, what then?

ID #2: What then, dude? Physics! NASA needs help with the space program, and Stephen Hawking won't be around forever.

ID #1: Thank God we went to Topeka high schools. Isn't it great to be on the cutting edge of science?

K Sose

4:34 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

I do believe I've ranted on this topic here before. The whole core of the debate is that evolution is taught as fact, not theory, and as such, alternative theories should be presented, instead of bottlenecking everyone into a matching goosestep of thought. When people stop questioning the establishment (be it church OR state), THAT is when the drooling and corn eating begins.
Love ya. Mean it.

5:54 PM  
Anonymous assrot said...

Just sitting here drooling and eating corn. I completely agree with you though.

6:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's debatable LoL....J/K....
Evermore.

Sapphire Raven

12:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this post about ID.

It shows what the "evolutionists" really think of the opposition and their liberal bullshit about understanding and dialog is a sham.

This will provide many valuable quotes about the mindset of the "evolutionists"...most of whom just parrot their high school science and do not even understand the many holes in the theory that are still promoted as "facts" in high school "textbooks".

Classic

5:59 AM  
Blogger Da Professa said...

Hmmm....
T'would seem that the American hypocrisy has no bounds and no shame. It is not enough that the children already can't compete on the global stage and that pretty soon we as a country and a culture will be behind the 8-ball econimically because we don't invest enough in ourselves and our futures. I guess, since this is a nation of "In Big Daddy, Junior and the Spook we trust", then we don't have to rely on ourselves to help ourselves. Nay, just ask and ye shall receive.
There is nothing in the concept or ID that has any basis in the science which has our lives so "comfortable" now. I just don't get how people can drive the car and then reject the science which begat the car? How do you go to the doctor for you insulin shot, anitbiotic or other medication and then REJECT the scientific principles which generated it? Scientific discoveries are based on principles used to guide one to an binding end after all possible other theories have been tested. If the end should be found to be non-repeatable then your originally theory has to be called into question and you start the whole process over. It is not an end unto itself but a never ending process of question, test, repeat. ID is based on a non-testable theory. What new discoveries can we find through intelligent design concept? Not a one, it says that someone, something made us....most likely the Christian version something...end of story. Christians can't even agree on what story is accurate. Religions can't agree on WHICH god was THE god and despite the intellectually disingeniuous rantings of the "all is one" crowd that they ALL can't be right. Now in all honesty the same can be said of a scientific theory( which is not the same thing as a scientific fact). However, religion says ONE must be right and live your life by it...science says we test all until we find one that is right. One is exculsive and the other inclusive. One has given us a very comfortable existence since the middle ages and the other has created more bloodshed than any other cause in the world's history. Go ahead, teach your children ID...handicap them somemore on the global stage. When you sit back and look at the state of your country and wonder what happened, blame yourself. Better yet, ask Jesus, I'm sure he has a ticket to the big house just for you...you being his favorite sycophant and all. Self serving, pompous hypocrites....

-"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
- Stephen Roberts

6:00 PM  

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