small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: word game

Sunday, June 12

word game

he never did learn how to spell his last name.....

I was reading the other day that kids who tend to do the best in spelling bees after are often of Indian or Asian origin. The article also went on to say a bunch of egghead gibberish about how it’s a cultural thing and the learning ethic is stronger in these kids as they grew up. This is all fine and good, but I’ve had my own theory about this shit for years. And amazingly enough I don’t find too many people that agree with me cause maybe it’s too simple?

But then I’ve always found that most people of high intelligence tend to overlook the simple and obvious. Maybe it gets their nuts off, I donno, but here’s my theory on the learning and spelling shit. As a young spratling in kindergarten what’s the first thing besides don’t eat the fuckin crayons that muthafucker’s teach you? You’re taught how to spell your last name and street address, right? Now if your last name is “Day” and you live on “Elm”, it’s pretty fuckin simple. But have a last name like “Faulkner” who lives on “Universal” street, you might have to work a little harder to learn some shit, thus you have a automatic head start on some muthafuckers.

So my theory is simple, if as a young child stuck with a difficult to pronounce or spell last name or you live on a street with a long name, you start off at a young age learning difficult spelling. Not that I’m calling kids with short surnames dumbasses or anything like that. And god love the little fist fucker’s whose parents were stoner’s or hippies who got stuck with names like “Moon” or “LaQuenta”, or “Petal” or even “Stormy”. And believe me, if you’re a chick and got stuck with the name “Stormy” or “Petal”, or god forbid “Star”, how you might end up in life is food for a whole other discussion. (Stripper, cough, cough)

But back to my simple little theory. If you’re born of a culture where you’re named “Satyavati”, which means Mother of Vyasa, or mother of the lord, or “Avul Pakir Jainulabhudin Adbul Kalam”, which happens to be the name of the current President of India. You definitely have a head start in the reading and writing thing. So to me it’s no secret and wonder that kids with hard to pronounce and spell names are so good in spelling competitions and other shit of that ilk.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger satyavati said...

I am impressed again.. how did you find out that Satyavati was Vyasa's mother?
Also, if you break down my name into its components, you find that satya means truth and vati means 'place of' or 'abode of', and then my name becomes one of the 1000 names of Radharani, which is 'the abode of truth'.
Although I wasn't born with this name, the name I had was difficult to spell (it wasn't Indian, it was French, which is at least as bad) but I will give you another reason why you're right; Indian spelling in Roman alphabets is notoriously loose; I have seen my name spelled 'Sathyavaadi' and it's just as valid. It's disconcerting until you get used to it, but there's generally at least 2 valid spellings of everything.. then you get into regional pronunciations.. anyway, as usual, I'm impressed. But what if my name had been Rainbow?

1:34 PM  
Blogger Death said...

then it might have been $$$$$$ all night long

1:45 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Geez, and all I get is a head start on the local spelling bee? What a ripoff.

6:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you make me happy.

i mean, i have had this site bookmarked for the past year.

you never fail to make me nod my head and laugh.

magic? i think not.

you're just one of the coolest cats out there.


6:58 AM  
Blogger Billy D said...

Hmmm. I should name my next child Rumplestiltskin Hoffeimier just to be sure.

10:27 AM  
Blogger The Mayor said...

Poor Bob.

5:10 PM  

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