blast from the past.....Monkey Island

we're monkeys, bitches

Once again its early Wednesday evening and the Boardroom at the Cane is in full effect. I’m sitting at the bar doing my usual bit, which means watching the bums across the street on Monkey Island and listening to eight different conversations going on around me. (if you’d ever seen our zoo here in town and where they keep the monkeys then you’d understand the name Monkey Island) Suddenly I see this drunken Bum push down this other Bum. I don’t really think too much of it cause these cats are always beating on each other about something, usually about who got the bottle. As long as they keep it across the street we don’t give it much thought.

There’s this one big juiced up muthafucker screaming at the Bum on the ground, who’s makin a sorry ass attempt to get to his feet. Just then it hit me, the ugly ass Bum on the ground getting screamed at is a chick. I suggest to the bartender that she hang near the phone cause this could go south real quick, but the ugly chick gets up and moves to another spot, and shit seems to calm down. Now out of the blue comes this super nappy-headed cat that apparently knows the ugly chick. He finds out what’s happening and gets all worked up at the Bums on Monkey Island.

There’s all kinds of screaming and posturing going on and in the back of my head it made me think. This is just like something off the Discovery Channel, you got a bunch of hairy smelly muthafuckers on their “turf” fighting amongst themselves and with the strange hairy nappy headed muthafucker over this really ugly smelly hairy female. We find out later that the strange hairy nappy-headed muthafucker is a self professed “pimp” whose friends with the ugly chick.

I told the bartender that he had to be fuckin the ugly chick cause he didn’t seem to be the type to take on all that ass kickin just to be polite. He must’a heard me cause he later mentioned that he had all his ho’s just up the street and that him and the ugly chick were just friends. Sure pal, uh huh. By this time local security and the cops had the big juiced up Bum handcuffed and leaning against the wall of the bar. I bet one of the security guys that this fucker was probably fresh on parole, you should’a seen how cut this guy was. I’m pretty sure that there’s no Bum fitness center so all those muscles were courtesy of the local lockdown. I found out that he had been out of the big house less then thirty days. Hmmmm, who would’a guessed, just another hump day in the big city.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"