small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: blast from the past.......flat foot women

Thursday, September 15

blast from the past.......flat foot women

Most stupid spam of the day.
“Hi, Here I like to find nice American or West European man to be friend with and maybe come there. Most Men here not well with women and winters not very much warm”

I came across this dumb fuckin message in my inbox at home this morning, I can’t describe…or maybe I can, how fuckin pissed I get whenever I get bullshit like this. Are there really muthafucker’s out there that go for this crap? I used to know this dickless bastard that after getting punked by every chick he met due to him being a tad bit of an asshole he decided to get himself one of these mail order brides.

Cat went over to Malaysia and climbed up to this village in the hills to meet this native girl that he had supposedly been communicating with by phone and mail. He came back to town all excited and shit talking about how she was the perfect women for his ass. I wanted to know how she was so perfect cause I knew this muthafucker ran thru women around here like a corn thru a dog. “She’s perfect; she’s compliant to all my needs and keeps her head down when I talked to her. Her learned skills are very basic and all she wants to do is cook and clean for me and fulfill my every need.

Then to make it even odder as if that could even happen, he went on to tell me how flat and splayed out her feet were from walking mountain trails barefooted. Well, to make a short story shorter the dumbass poke boy brought this chick back after paying some huge dowry to her plate lipped father. After a couple of months she learned her way around and got herself a lawyer and left this stupid bastard in the fuckin dust. It seems like our boy was the mark and got used like a dirty tampon. Last I heard she and her big assed feet are pole dancing over in Kansas somewhere. Stupid sad-sack bastard got what he deserved. Fuck the stupid.

I watched the Anna Nichole show last night and I came away thinking, “what a fuckin ho”. Actually I could only stand fifteen minutes of it before I turned it off. I could deal with the gaining weight thing cause Ann’s always been a big chick and healthy women rock, but the little Barbie voice and perpetually stoned look is just a turn off.

I understand that it got one of the largest cable ratings in history for an opening show but I predict that it’ll go downhill from there. I just can’t see watching a fat drugged out ho going about her day very interesting. And speaking of ho’s with huge tits; the other night in the Cane was silicone drink for free night.

I refuse to tag a woman as a stripper simply because she’s wearin a short sundress or a halter top and supporting a rack bigger then most men’s heads but whatever they do for a living the bar was full of em. I had a couple of em sit next to me and they seemed annoyed because Steve and me seemed to ignore em.

But you gots to understand that we’re old heads at this kind of shit. Hell, as soon as they walked thru the fuckin door we had em cataloged by weight, height and bra size. But it was a nice view when the one wearin the sundress and the full on set of enhanced 44D’s decided to do a full stretch while sitting next to me. You could’ a set an ashtray on those muthafucker’s. Word.

And I noticed an odd thing about all the chicks with big tits; they were all checkin each others tits out. It was very cool the way they did it, they’d make a point of staring at the other chick till they got their attention and then they’d give the racks the full on once over. I wonder do guys with big cocks do the same thing?

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger satyavati said...

See that? Us'n with the no-artificial-ingredients-added racks don't get no drinks for free. Life just ain't fair.

11:12 AM  
Blogger Billy D said...

"I wonder do guys with big cocks do the same thing?"

No, we don't. ;)

11:56 AM  
Blogger curmudgeon said...



No free drinks either.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Assrot said...

Anna Nicole is good for one thing. A nice long titty fuck. Hopefully she shuts the fuck up while your doing it. Other than that she is useless as tits on a boar hog.

Anybody that falls for the mail order bride gig deserves every got-dam bit of the fucking they get.

6:15 PM  
Blogger Rusty said...

Anna Nicole's show did pretty much go belly up not too long after it came out. People got sick of seeing a drugged out retard with big tits on TV when they realized they can see the same shit at a sorority party for free.

8:48 PM  

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