small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: oh no he didn't

Sunday, October 30

oh no he didn't

Rusty from Planet Rusty keeping me off the
last muthafucker I caught
wearing my favorite shirt

So you know how you always hear that line that you never stop learning some shit? Well it’s true. I used to laugh at chicks when I’d see em get upset because some other chick walked into the club or party wearing the same outfit. Silly chicks, I’d think, making such a fuss simply because some other chick’s wearing the same dress or blouse.

But the other night I’m in the Hurricane and this cat walks in wearing my favorite tattoo shirt. I grabbed this guy sitting next to me and said do you see that muthafucker; he’s wearing the same shirt I got. Then the cat said, yeah, and he’s also big and bald just like you but white. I found myself sitting at the bar thinking how lucky that muthafucker was that I decided not to wear my shirt that day.

And I know I didn’t have it on, but the gall of some muthafucker to dare not only buy but wear my favorite shirt. And it looked like shit on em. I actually found myself sitting there getting angry that my shirt was on somebody else, and he had the nerve to be bald too? I couldn’t help but think that if I had worn the same shirt one of us would’a had to come out of it or leave, and bet your bottom dollar it wouldn’t be me.

Then it struck me, wow, how fuckin unreasonable was I being. I had to look down to check wither my mangina was pooking out or not. Look at me sound all bitchy and shit. But then it was my favorite shirt and nobody wears my favorite shit but me. By that time the bartender was looking at me going; “what the fucks your deal, you’re all hyperventilating and shit and haven’t blinked in the past half hour”. “Get over it”.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Anonymous Kansouri said...

Damn Death - are those hands or the front buckets of a couple of backhoes? I am sure that kid woulda bought a bar t-shirt and gladly let you wear your favorite - had you had asked nicely, or umm just asked at all...

8:38 AM  
Blogger Circa Bellum said...

okay, so next time I'm in KC, don't wanna eff up. What exactly does this shirt look like?

5:46 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

It continues to amaze me that your hands and Rusty's head are roughly the same size.....

6:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

regardless of the size of 'em, put some damn lotion on 'em!!!
-- so says your sister

9:20 AM  
Blogger Death said...

-kansouri, I never thought of myself as having large hands.
-circa bellum, I'm wearing th shirt in that picture, it's black with a red tribal tattoo with skulls going both sides of the front.
-Satyavati, you know large hands are good for cupping large things, right?
-my sister, shut up you! or I'll make my big dicked bat friend come get you and you cats.

10:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

uh cats can take the big dicked bat (which is wrong btw, i dont care how u look at it, that shit is wrong!)
--- so says the sister for her cats

5:15 PM  
Blogger Sid said...

ROFL, I don't think I've ever had a case of a girl wearing my outfit at the same time, but I have seen a bitch or two strolling around NYC in my favorite winter coat.

Eh, I wear it better, so I didn't get upset.

But I find the idea of you busting a gut over this situation highly hilarious!

11:58 PM  

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