the pen maker

Friday as the bands were setting up in the Hurricane this person was deposited inside the door. “Hi I’m Scott the blind pen maker, can I hang out in here?” And of course the bartender said sure and helped the cat find a seat at the bar. The cat then proceeded to tell everyone within hearing that his name is Scott and that he’s blind, has cerebral palsy and he makes pens for a living. He then wanted to know if the bartender had heard of him because he’s on the radio quite a bit.

The bartender who never turns on the radio was clueless as to who this cat was but I knew the name since I listen to the radio station in question. It’s one of the local alt rock stations and this cat is one of the more regular callers. He calls in and the dj’s chat him up for a bit then hang up on him. Anyway, he’s sitting at the bar talking about how he only makes minimum wage and doesn’t have much money but he wants to hang out and hear the bands and that he kind of famous because he’s on the fuckin radio.

Moving on, the bartender buy’s his first drink and I tell the bartender to put his next three on my tab. I figure why not front the cat a few beers since he seems to really want to hear some music and seems harmless enough. So as he’s slamming thru the beers he’s talking and telling anyone within hearing that he’s Blind Scott the pen maker and only makes minimum wage. Then he starts hollering that he wants a joint and does anyone have any weed on em. And he just won’t shut up about it. And if you’ve ever been in Westport any time at all you know that’s just not the most kosher of shit to do.

Shit like that will not only bring unwanted heat on the bar, but it’s just not cool. So I walk up behind Blind Scott the pen maker and whisper into his ear that for he knows there might be cops in the bar and he needs to drop that kind of shit right now. I go sit back on the couch and I’m joined by the head bouncer who asked me what I told em. As we’re sitting there talking Blind Scott the pen maker changes his tone and starts shouting “fuck the police”, “fuck the police,” over and over.

It’s like what the fuck is the deal with this guy, is he retarded too or just really stupid cause as far as my limited knowledge goes cerebral palsy doesn’t necessarily account for either one? This Blind Scott the pen maker was starting to disgust the fuck out of me cause I got the feeling that he was using his handicap to be an asshole. I asked the head bouncer how many handicapped people did he know.

He told me quite a few as I do, and none of em use their handicaps as a crutch as this guy seemed to be doing. Now I’m not gonna front and say I know what it would be like to be in their shoes because I don’t, but most people I know with a handicap deal with it and the last thing any of em seem to want from me is sympathy or a handout.

But this cat was just working his asshole to the point where I was almost sure it was a setup and pretty soon the radio station would come rushing in passing out free tickets to some shit for putting up with his ass. But by then I was behind the point of giving a fuck so I grabbed up my shit and hit the fuckin door thinking, fuck blind Scott the pen maker. He can kiss my ass.



"and the monkey flipped the switch"