small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: Here are a few of the things that bother me. (not in any order of importance)

Tuesday, November 22

Here are a few of the things that bother me. (not in any order of importance)

1. People that insist on spitting in public bother me.
2. Mumblers, I can’t stand people who mumble, I’ll just walk away. Stupid mush mouthed fuck.
3. Stupid people. I’ll work with a dumb person all day cause dumb is just dumb. But I’ll snatch up a stupid muthafucker and put my foot in their ass.
4. Bullies really bug the fuck out’a me, instead on picking on people who can’t hold their own bring your ass over here and fuck with me.
5. Racism really fucks with me, it’s 2005 for fucks sake, get over it.
6. The same goes for Black folk who think everybody owes em a life, get over it.
7. Pious people can fuck off.
8. Uppity people can fuck off.
9. Snobs can go fuck off.
10. Pushy people can fuck off.
11. Power walkers.
12. The color pink when used inappropriately.
13. All the new fangled colors, it’s either red, dark red or light red. Not mauve or some such shit.
14. People in the fuckin fast food industry who act like it’s my fault they’re there. Bitch just bring me my burger and shut the fuck up.
15. Wait staff that waits till you have a mouthful of food before they ask you if everything’s ok.
16. Wait staff that makes that face when you mispronounce an item on the menu.
17. Jews for Jesus, I’ll never figure that one out.
18. Pedophiles need to be torn apart like flies.
19. Women who think they’re all that can dry hump my dog. If I had a dog and if I did I’d have to at least get it on film.
20. Men who think they’re all that usually suffer from the shy dick syndrome.
21. People who assume.
22. People who think they really know me.
23. Insanely happy people make me angry.
24. Angry people who are angry for no reason.
25. Jogger’s who sneer at me as they run past cause I don’t fit their idea of health. Fuck you.
26. That odd breed of person who insists on living life like it’s a fuckin Brady Bunch sitcom.
27. Poser’s suck.
28. Gold teeth suck.
29. Silver teeth suck.
30. Bad tattoo’s suck.
31. Comb-over’s suck.
32. Women with hairy legs suck. (no jokes please)
33. People who stink without reason. You know what I mean.
34. People who hum upset me.
35. Women that high five. I rather see a chick pick up coins with her twat then do a high five.
36. High fives.
37. Men who act like pussies use to bother me, but since there’s so many I won’t count it.
38. The word nigger really bother’s me. If there’s one word that could be banished forever, it’ll have to be that one, followed closely by #40.
39. African American, I’m a Black man, thank you very much.
40. The term wigger, what the fuck is that?

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger satyavati said...

Geez, I hope I don't fit any of these in your opinion.. but I need some clarification about the living life like it's the Brady Bunch. I go around relatively oblivious most of the time, so does that mean me?

11:35 AM  
Blogger Bella said...

LMAO!! I liked that last one. Seriously, what is a wigger?

2:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is Eminem a wigger? Does that make
Matisyahu a jewgger? And since Asians are called tigers, would that make an Asian rapper a Tigger? K Sose

5:11 PM  
Blogger Nightmare said...

I would like to add to the list, but I think you coverd all bases. My ex's kid said the "N" word once and it was the only time I could have been sent to prison for murder. I really could have killed him. But if I did then I would have had to kill his dad's whole side of the family.

But I did like the way Eddie griffen used it in "Disfunctional Family" That motherfucker is funny.

8:30 AM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Great list! Funny but makes a damn great point.

8:50 AM  
Blogger Brad said...

Great list! #35 literally had me laughing out loud. I've never understood the wigger thing, either. By saying "wigger" aren't you also throwing the n-word around a little, too?

11:23 AM  
Anonymous puck said...

I am not sure I am using the color pink appropriately.

Pink is my favorite color.


this leads me to a wardrobe crisis!!!!

4:24 PM  

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