small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: Counter Culture Militia

Thursday, December 29

Counter Culture Militia

So Tuesday I’m sitting here at work getting hungrier then a muthafucker and even though I hadn’t eaten there in over a year I had a serious taste for a Big Mac. Fast forward to me sitting in the drive-thru lane of Mickey D’s waiting to pull up and give my order when suddenly something slams into my car. I look in the rearview mirror and there’s a blue mini van all over the fuckin ass end of my car. I shut my shit off and hop out to the sight of this old man in the mini van and the rear bumper of my car all squashed in and shit.

Now being the low key cat that I am I asked the old man was he ok and all that, then we moved both our cars away from the drive-thru and exchanged all the pertinent information. He admitted that he had gone to hit his brake but missed and hit his gas instead. You read this shit all the time about some elderly person running into a building because they missed the brake and hit the gas instead. Everything’s gonna be cool but I was just a little pissed since it was the first accident I’ve had since I was fuckin sixteen years old and it had to happen in the fuckin drive-thru of fuckin McDonalds.

Yesterday after work I’m at the Hurricane for the Boardroom and happy hour. The punk band “Buddy Lush Phenomenon” who plays there every Wednesday for happy hour is doing their thing and around the bar were gathered quite a few members of the “Counter Culture Militia”, who I like to describe as a local think tank whose motto loosely translates into “we like booze, boobs and loud music, fuck your politics”.

I’ve known some of these people for a long time and it’s always a pleasure hanging out with em, even though it’s sometime bad for my health. Last night between whisky, beer and various shots the conversation went from how gay I looked in my new leather biker jacket, to how gay everyone else looked in their leather jackets. Then we all got into an intense discussion on the various merits of transvestites and how it was ok to leer since most of em had the great big boobs and shit. It then smoothly moved into how even though Rob Halford of Judas Priest was gay it didn’t really matter since his music rocked.

Then we all sat around trying to name every famous musician we know who had come out of the closet. And one again I was mocked due to the fact that Boy George being gay caught me completely off guard. But none of us could come to a complete agreement on if Berry Manilow was a friend of Dorothy’s or not. After that the general conversation turned to unusual “and that only depended on who you were talking too” fetishes like vomiting on a chick during sex to watersports and scatting to getting kicked in the balls to how hospital jello rocked. And that when in the hospital and you’re getting bathed by the nurses, try your damndest to work up a hard-on. And on the same hand don’t overly piss off the nurses cause they could make your stay really fucked up.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger satyavati said...

The freakiest thing I can remember is a guy that damn near had an orgasm while I was giving him an enema. I had to wonder if it was the enema or if it was my brilliant sex appeal, and then I had to wonder if he went home and started begging his girlfriend give him enemas all the time.. and you're right..don't piss off the nurses.

2:37 PM  
Blogger Death said...

was this at work or during your past life? cause either way i figure it would have to be your sex appeal. things are just better with tits.

2:52 PM  
Blogger Sapphire said...

Tit's or no tit's thier is no way your getting near my ass....Well maybe if your tit's are Triple D's. On second thought I think I will just step aside and keep my pride.......Evermore

8:53 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

It was at work. I don't give guys enemas (no matter how good looking they might be) unless there's a paycheck involved. Even in my past life, I was never on that end of the riding crop, if you know what I mean.

9:19 PM  
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