small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: graduation day

Monday, December 19

graduation day



I got up early Saturday morning to attend Michelle’s graduation from college. After getting dressed I walked outside to start the car and only then did I notice that it had snowed it’s ass off overnight. Hmmmm, that kind’a changed things a bit, so instead of taking the freeway across town I decided to drive the long way thru town to get to the auditorium in Independence, Mo where the graduation was being held. The drive wasn’t too bad, at that time of the morning on a Saturday there weren’t too many people on the road. So after getting there in one piece I found a seat in the back of the auditorium.

Except for my sister’s I hadn’t been to a college graduation in years before so I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I fully expected to be bored to tears before the whole thing was done but the oddest thing I noticed was the surge of emotions that ran thru me. The place was full of friends, parents, grandparents, teachers, family members, husbands and wives and of course the graduates. I couldn’t help but notice the large numbers of whole families that showed up to see one of their own graduate and I thought that was nice. After a bit everyone settled down and the ceremony started with the National Anthem, then all the graduates were led into the auditorium or it could have been the other way around, I forget.

But it was great seeing the faces of some of the parents, cause even though they had just seen their kids minutes earlier, seeing them again marching in line wearing cap & gown just sent a shiver thru the crowd. I was able to spot Michelle and she looked very beautiful and regal in her cap and gown I should add. So soon everyone sat down and the thing began. Various speakers spoke including the commencement speaker who I thought boring but ok. But they did do the coolest thing I thought.

The President of the school had the parents of students stand up to be noticed, then the grandparents, followed by spouses and significant others. She had them all take a bow because those were the people who supported the graduates and helped make all this possible. And even though I had nothing to stand for, I felt good cause I did my little bit to help and support Michelle. Use of my computer, my couch when she got bummed or needed someone to talk too, and I even got her a flash drive so she could take her shit back and forth, so along with every other person there I felt very proud.

But then the oddest depression came over me. Watching all the happy families and graduates at first made me very happy for everyone. All these people in one form of other had done something to change their lives. They had looked into the crystal ball and done something to change their future. And watching all the smiling happy faces suddenly made me feel very mortal and afraid, and that I didn’t have any right to be there because I was an interloper or a pretender. I don’t know and I can’t explain it but I became very depressed. I stayed long enough to see Michelle walk then I left and made the drive back home.



"and the monkey flipped the switch"

3 Comments:

Blogger Nightmare said...

You really want to feel mortal? Read "Tuesdays with Morrie". That shit will fuck you up.

I also want to know your take on the patriot act.

1:32 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

I think I understand. My husband has never gone to college, but he's put me through twice, once for my LPN and once for my RN. I couldn't have done it without him, and I know he's proud of me, but inside he gives him a twinge of depression/inadequacy to think that he's "just" a highschool grad. But on the other hand, some of the most successful and brilliant people have never gone to college. My father never even graduated highschool, and he's probably the smartest person I know (and I'm not being biased). He can't spell my name (not my birth name either!) but he can do just about anything, from build you a beautiful house, fix your muffler, sew cushion covers, to telling you how many bricks you need for a patio 9' 3 1/2" by 11' 6 3/4". Education does not equal intelligence, and real success is not measured in dollars.

1:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

satyavati, does your father contract out??? (just kidding).

major point made on the have or have not of a college degree. look at greg. he dosent have one, well not from a school, but he's rather freakish in what all he knows. and then look at me. i have one and am quite the dumbshit most of the time. i fake intellegence very well.

-- so chimes in the sister

8:23 AM  

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