blast from the past...I'll tumble for ya

Best quote from last week:

“We got so drunk at our last gig that the band broke up for three hours, over a sandwich.”

-- A band knocking back a few at the Hurricane

I went out Saturday night to see Culture Club at the Uptown Theater. This was my first time in the Uptown in about ten years and I was very impressed with the building though I did miss the round tables and the lounge seating that they used to have. I don’t know who put on the better show, the band or the crowd. I thought Boy George and his crew kind’a laid down. Boy did the normal British crap talking about tea and crumpets and shit along with the townie salute, “we’re glad to be here in Kansas, the home of Dorothy and Toto”.

He played a mix of new tunes along with the old and personally I didn’t think the new stuff had the hook of the old stuff and he kept having some personal issue with his monitor mix which came off as very annoying. He kept turning around to wave and flutter his hands at the guy mixing monitors and didn’t really seem like he wanted to be here. Another annoying thing was that he kept trying to pull the crowd into singing along. This is always cool and fun, but the first song out of the gate? His band and backup singers seemed more into playing then he did. But OHMYGOD that was his crowd. Lots of muthafuckin gay guys, what’s up with that?

I definitely stood out in this crowd, my pal Angela went with me and she thought I had to be the brightest, straightest man in the house. Cause you know, I was sporting my bright red Hawaiian shirt. There was so many black clothes I must’a looked like a drop of blood on a black ass. Oops, no pun intended. Before the show you had your Hara Krishna’s running up and down the room which was unexplainable and irritating. And on the outside Fred Phelps and his happy band of inbreeds were doing their hate thing on the sidewalk and that was more irritating.

You know Fred says what he does is a moral religious thing, but the voice in my head tells me Fred is fucked up. God does not give a good googoley shit which end you take it in cause that’s not what makes you a good or bad person. When you’re as homophobic as Fred and his clan the problem goes a lot deeper. I personally think Fred needs to get in touch with his inner child and step up and out of that big ole closet he’s been hiding in for years. Don’t worry, when Fred and his ilk die HELL will be the daisy chain Fred gets stuck in for eternity.

SIDEBAR TIME:

After the show I went down to the Hurricane to have a few where my pal Steve was behind the bar doing his thing. I was sitting at the bar coughing down a Old Crow when I look to my left and got the crap shocked out of me. There was a women a few stools down who was staring at me with this real twisted grin. She was a dwarf! And she looked like she really really wanted to hookup with somebody.

I did my best not to make eye contact cause you see, I had just seen a porno with dwarf women in it and the last place I wanted to go was there. I know, dwarf’s need love too, but it was not my time. Lucky for me she turned her attention on some other guy. One of the reasons I dig Steve is that we always seem to notice the same things, like when the dwarf chick had her short arm shoved down the guy’s pants, Steve picked up on it the same instant I did. When the dwarf chick went to the john and the guy was waiting outside for her Steve and I both hollered score!
I wonder how was it?

"and the monkey flipped the switch"