small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: drive by squirreling

Friday, January 27

drive by squirreling



Here in gorgeous Kansas City the temperature has been in the lower sixties so it’s been pretty nice. So as I drove to work this morning I had the window down enjoying the weather and all that. I pull up to this stoplight and looked to my left and found myself mildly shocked to see about ten to twelve squirrels just hanging out in the grass eating nuts and shit.

As I’m looking at the squirrels I’m thinking three thoughts. The first thought floating through my head is “that’s a lot of fuckin squirrels”. The second one’s about this story I posted about a few weeks ago about a pack of squirrels attacking and eating a dog and maybe I need to roll up my window. And the third thought is that I hope they don’t do that crazy squirrel thing and run out into traffic.

Anyhow, we’re all sitting there staring at each other and it’s like we’re suddenly digging off of each other. I got some hard rock on my car stereo, rage against the machine I think, and I’m watching the squirrels nodding my head back and forth. Then I notice that all the squirrels are looking at me nodding their heads and shit. Then much to my amazement they all break into this odd little squirrel lockstep. Kind’a like hup hup ho, hup hup ho. I know you’re all thinking that I’m crazy cause squirrels got no rhythm and shit. But I’m telling you that’s what was going on.

So I crank up the music and as the music gets louder the squirrels really start grooving hup hup ho huh, hup hup ho huh, cause after all its rage against the machine right? And I’m banging my head and the squirrels are lockstepping and banging their heads and we’re all grooving as one when the light changes and suddenly everything’s back to normal and I drive off. Certainly made for a cool drive to work don’t you think?




"and the monkey flipped the switch"

12 Comments:

Blogger emawkc said...

I have noticed that squirrels in some neighborhoods around KC have more rythm than squirrels in other neighborhoods. Let me guess... you weren't in Johnson County.

9:35 AM  
Blogger Rusty said...

I think taking some acid in the morning is a really bad idea.

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i so agree w/ rusty. STOP THAT!!!

12:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

btw, your sister said that.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

Get some sleep. LOL

1:08 PM  
Blogger curmudgeon said...

You need to quit staying up so late.

2:25 PM  
Blogger Bella said...

I never thought I'd see squirrels and Rage Against the Machine in one sentence.

That's Sac Relig, dude! lol

2:50 PM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Greg,
You really, REALLY need a vacation.

3:23 PM  
Blogger your brother said...

Damn. Send me some of that shit your taking.

5:37 PM  
Blogger Sapphire said...

No No it's true. He's telling the truth. I saw a squirrl stand in the middle of the side walk today acting like he was one of us. It was wired about five to six people other than us were out and about getting in thier cars talking to one another and this squirrl just comes out of no where and stops right in the middle of the street then he stands up and walks on both of his legs Like he had a car of his own to get into. After me and my sweety drove off he got back down on all fours and ran off....Evermore


P.S. The strait jacket is mine you can have the comfortable room with pillow.

I think this is the most replys you have had on one post in a while. Hey I have one for you....This made my day. Thier was a man on a unicycle rolling down the street smokeing a cigarette. The first thought that came to my mind was. Dam!! thier goes walking while chewing bubble gum....Evermore

9:47 PM  
Anonymous valorious said...

Awww, it was just a little wake and bake-never hurt anybody...

I remember back in Chicago they had agro gonzo squirrels. I'd be walking to the bus stop in the morning and one or more would stand in front of me, chittering in a squirrelly way that seemed to mean "give me a nut or you ain't passin." I'd have to stomp and holler at them to get them out of the way. Funny little critters...

10:05 PM  
Blogger Viqi French said...

agree with rusty: just put the acid down! lol rodents with bushy tails don't do rock, bro. they prefer reggae, dont'cha know?

10:02 AM  

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