small brush shouldn't fuck with big timber

Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table: observations

Tuesday, February 28


As I ramble thru life there are a few casual thing’s which have come to my attention. Here’s a few.
• Why is it that the chicks that always speak out against rape and sexual violence in the media are usually chicks that no one wants to fuck in the first place? Yeah, you hardly ever see the hot chick with the kung-fu grip bitching about shit like that.

• It’s always a sure bet that the cat sporting the car with all the tree hugger bumper stickers is gonna be the biggest rudest asshole.

• What is it about Harleys that make some cats think they’re some kind of a tough guy? There’s nothing to me more puzzling then seeing some cat who I know normally shits his shorts when confronted. But on the weekends he’ll put on his black tee-shirt and bandanna and swagger thru the bars like he’s somebody cause he has a thirty thousand dollar bike parked outside. I used to love seeing these guys’s and telling em; “I fuck chicks tougher then you”.

• Most people who bitch about people’s religions barely understand their own.

• Teenagers shouldn’t be allowed to drive or drink until they turn thirty.

• Before you leave anywhere, I mean anywhere, always take a pee. Cause you never know when you might get kidnapped and forced to lay in the back of a smelly dark trunk for hours on end, and pissing yourself would only make it worse.

• If you talk the talk you better fuckin walk the walk cause if you don’t it’ll just make your pussiefication that much more apparent.

• Just because a person’s old or slow doesn’t make em stupid.

• No matter how hot the chick, there’s someone out there sick and tired of that ass.

• There’s no such thing as a witty drunk.

• The chick that everybody thinks puts out usually doesn’t.

I know there’s a lot more and I should been keeping a list all these years, but they’ll come in time. But feel free to add your own life observations in the comments.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"


Blogger Ole Blue The Heretic said...

How about the people who put those Jesus fish on their cars, I have been flipped off by many of those. So I drive a slow old pickup, I am not afraid to knock their ass off the road because then I can buy a new truck.

Everyone around here drives like a fucking teenager, I am serious, people should have to go through a driving course as tough as in Germany or other places in Europe. People don't know how to act at a four way stop.

I know a dentist who rides a harley. You should see this shit, he looks like a walking bowling pin with nerd glasses, but once he has his harley gear on you would swear he was a walking and talking Clint Eastwood movie character. Yell Boo, and he still shits his pants.

10:42 AM  
Blogger satyavati said...

Here are some that just spring to mind:

The guy who brags about how many girls he's laid hasn't gotten any for at least eighteen months, and he paid for that one.

The people with the most money are the ones least willing to pick up the tab.

The person who bitches you out for smoking.. quit 16 hours ago.

People who buy prime rib and jumbo shrimp with food stamps piss me off. I'm buying ramen noodles for 9 cent a pack, and they're buying shit I can't afford.

Philip Morris and other tobacco companies are required to spend millions of dollars in anti-smoking campaigns, but the alcohol industry just puts 'Drink Responsibly' in their commercials. Last I checked, it wasn't illegal to drive after smoking a few cigarettes. Why doesn't anyone make the alcohol companies sponsor rehab?

People who find out my name and then ask me whether I'm saved, and then proceed to try and forcibly convert me.

Everyone on the net who uses abbreviations like U, R, Ure, Neway, and so on.

And guys whose pickup line is "Nice pic".

11:30 AM  
Blogger LL said...

My buddy BigDaddy2X4 says this to me all the time:

"No matter how hot the chick, there’s someone out there sick and tired of that ass."

Amazing that ya'll think the same way!

And I have to say, there is an inverse relationship between the time you have to GET to an appointment and the actual time it takes. Cuz of all them SLOW movin' motherfuckers. ARRRGGGHHHH!

1:23 PM  

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